Q&A with Jon Vroman and Jon Berghoff

In this show, Jon Berghoff interviews Jon Vroman in front of a live audience at GoBundance.com event in Austin, TX 2019.

A few things you’ll hear about…

  • How transparent should we be with our kids?
  • The affirmation that saved Jon’s marriage (posted below)
  • How to cultivate excitement and passion with your spouse
  • Having amazing conversations with kids
  • What stories impact your family the most
  • Where and when do kids want you to push harder
  • When to push forward, and when to back off with your wife and kids

Jon’s affirmation:

  1. Today I choose to completely accept and love Tatyana exactly as she is, in every moment.
  2. I do not need her permission or participation to treat her with love and respect.
  3. In any given moment, I choose to FEEL Tatyana while remaining FREE of her.
  4. I can be happy with or without her — and I’m choosing to be happy with her.
  5. Today I will focus on my own journey of growth — not trying to control hers.
  6. I take confident action in pursuit of love and peace.
  7. I am always in control of my next move.
  8. I am the decisive factor.
  9. I have the ability to escalate or escalate any situation.
  10. How I act, speak and “feel” to her, and when I speak, is often more important that what I say.
  11. I see, hear and feel within me, around me — with total clarity.
  12. I know who I am, what I want and what I’m willing to give.
  13. She cannot make me mad. She can simply offer a magnifying glass into some part of my heart that needs to be healed or helped.
  14. If I’m frustrated, angry or feeling any negative emotions, I have options to either change the situation or my mind. I own my experience.
  15. In the most difficult moments of our relationship, I can show our kids how to treat others when during difficult times.
  16. When Tatyana finds the fullest expression of herself — she’s ultimately happier.
  17. When she feels good, all her relationships are better, especially with our kids.
  18. Remember that Tatyana is trying to find her own personal happiness, not diminish mine.
  19. I have needs and standards as a human and husband. I should feel confident expressing them in my relationship — calmly.
  20. People don’t change until they choose to, and often things have to get worse, before they get better
  21. I have a forever commitment to Tatyana and helping her uncover and discover her best self.
  22. I am here to help heal her, not hurt her
  23. I forgive her for everything In the past
  24. I forgive her for anything in the future
  25. My goal is to create a safe place for her to open up fully and share her heart.
  26. Tatyana is my wife, and not my therapist, doctor, or financial advisor. I am here to be strong for her, not dump my problems on her.
  27. If I understand her heart, I’m more likely to succeed at explaining mine
  28. I can still give my all to Tatyana even when I’m confused or upset
  29. She is not responsible for my happiness, or my self worth
  30. She is not supposed to play every role in my life and I’m not supposed to play every role in hers.
  31. She doesn’t owe me anything
  32. Ive never walked a day in her shoes, so I choose to remain compassionate.
  33. I cannot control her. I can support, love and encourage her.
  34. I am not her coach.
  35. I don’t give advice, I listen and remain empathetic.
  36. If I’m tempted to give advice, I can ask, “Do you want me to fix it, or feel it?”
  37. When entering a conversation, I remain curious not critical, and free from frustration.
  38. I am unshakable.
  39. I don’t react emotionally, I respond mindfully.
  40. I am cool, calm, and collected
  41. I am kind and confident.
  42. I am courageous, adventurous decisive and ready for any challenge.
  43. I am honest, faithful, trustworthy, grounded, strong and loving.
  44. I can feel her energy and I know when it’s time to give her space.
  45. I will not attempt to analyze and understand Tatyana, thereby limiting her to the constraints of my mind.
  46. She and I see the world differently, and that can create positive polarity.
  47. Differences bring about new insights which enlighten and elevate, our relationship and our family.
  48. What I loved about her in the beginning is often what drives me crazy today — I own and embrace that.
  49. When she puts up a wall, I stay present.
  50. When she’s triggered, my #1 goal is to help heal her heart. People in pain don’t want to be helped, they want to be heard.
  51. I will support her quest to put find her true self and claim her best life.
  52. Tatyana is a soul that needs independence and freedom.
  53. I will not let any personal insecurity, jealously or limiting beliefs get in the way of love and connection.
  54. I will trust in the moment and the future it creates.
  55. I know that whatever Tatyana does is perfect, because to resist what IS, is to suffer. Everything happens for the reason I choose.
  56. Whatever is happening is likely a phase — wait long enough and it will change.
  57. Marriage is a marathon. It requires endurance, patience, focus and strength.
  58. I will lift her up, make her laugh and love her silly.
  59. When her wild side shows up, I will embrace it. When I embrace her, she’ll trust me and when she trusts me, she’ll open to me, and when she opens to me, this is the start of something good.
  60. Tatyana challenges me and I love a good challenge.
  61. At times, it may help the situation To bring out my “dark side” with love, respect and care
  62. I focus on what’s right, where she rocks and why she’s unique.
  63. I build her up, and never tear her down.
  64. I always speak highly of her in front of others
  65. She is the mother of our boys and is essential in fulfilling my primary purpose as a husband and father.
  66. I love that she’s a free spirit
  67. I love that she’s resilient
  68. I love that she’s fun
  69. I love that she’s adventurous
  70. I love that she meets my need for variety
  71. I love that she loves our boys
  72. I love that she gives me space to be myself, to learn and grow
  73. I love that she keeps us healthy
  74. I love her bold, independent and fun personality.
  75. I am a strong leader with masculine energy and I will show up for her and others powerfully, centered and ready to serve.
  76. Today I will be playful, present and on purpose.
  77. Remember who YOU are Jon, and who YOU need to be so your true self can kick ass and serve people.
  78. Our relationship is forever changing, evolving, and growing. This is a good thing.
  79. Tatyana can evoke deep feelings and her expansiveness makes me feel alive.
  80. I give Tatyana my absolute in every moment, because it’s simply how I should act with anyone, at anytime under any circumstance.
  81. If today were my last day, I will know with 100% certainty that I gave her, me and my family, my absolute best.

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Disclaimer: The transcription you’re about to read was produced digitally. It’s 95% accurate, however at times, the system interprets words incorrectly, so if you’re shrugging your shoulders saying, “What the heck?” — just skip that word/sentence and read on 🙂 Thanks and happy reading!

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