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Speaker 1: 00:01 [inaudible]
Grant Baldwin: 00:02 the more you as a human are interested in a topic or passionate topic, like the more you’re willing to go down that rabbit trail versus like if we’re just dictating, oh, you need to learn trigonometry because that’s what high school freshman do. It’s like, but why?
Speaker 1: 00:19 [inaudible] Grant Baldwin: 00:20 alright boys, we got grant Baldwin with us today from his home just outside of Nashville. Dude, let’s have some fun. Let’s talk about family life. You know, there’s some people, you know, like you look up on the calendar in the morning and you’re like, all right, what do I got today? And then you just see like John Roman’s name and I just like, Oh Dang, it’s going to be a good day. It’s going to be a good day. So anytime we can hang out and chat, um, I’m always game for. Thanks man. Appreciate that. You know, one of the things I’ve appreciated about you is I feel like I’m always getting a direct answer and I feel like it’s concise. Have you been described that way by a lot of people? I mean, you’re Kinda to the point, right? Maybe other people would tell you that you ran and maybe with your team, maybe with your wife, but I feel like I admire that about you because sometimes I can go on and on and when you can keep something tight, when you can keep it concise.
Grant Baldwin: 01:12 I Dunno. Two people commented about that for you. Oh, I don’t know the speaking coaching business and somebody would say that about you, but you really do. Well, I think, um, I don’t have a lot to say. Maybe we’re going to be wrong today. I’ll ask one question and you’ll rent for 30 bucks. Yeah, I would say to some degree that that’s true. Like I was thinking for example, so just finished writing a book and I had a really, um, I worked with a ghost writer for a lot of it, but I had a lot of time, a lot of, I have a hard time, um, of feeling like, how do you stretch a couple of key ideas into hundreds of pages? Like just say it in a couple pages. There’s no need to stretch it out just for the sake of a book. Like, just kind of, so that’s kind of the way my mind thinks of.
Grant Baldwin: 01:58 Yeah, we said that this one way and this is the way you’re supposed to do it and just, I don’t know, what do you want me to say? Just do that, you know, so I don’t think like, I’m, uh, I don’t think I’m brash or harsh and, uh, about that stuff in any way. It’s just Kinda like, I dunno, I just try, I maybe I just have a simple mind and do it this way. That works, you know, don’t overcomplicate it, dude. I think that’s the biggest deal is don’t overcomplicate it. Hey, on that note of simplicity, are you familiar with Blinkist? Yeah, I got the, yeah, they got, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I don’t, I don’t like, um, this is probably bad to say, but like I don’t like reading full books cause like oftentimes they feel super inflated. Now that’s not the case with all of them.
Grant Baldwin: 02:35 And there’s certainly pros too. I’m going to sit with this concept or concepts for 10 hours reading this book and look at these different illustrations and analogies and metaphors and stories and case studies and all of the letter just sink in. So I’d just apply it more. Um, so there’s certainly like something that’d be said for that, but there’s also a lot of times here I’m like, yeah, but you also could have said that in a 30 minute. Yeah, yeah. You know, Co podcast and interview or uh, or a summary or whatever it may be. Um, yeah, I think that’s such a good idea. They just did a big round of funding and they’re killing it, man. Yeah. So I’m big on blink right now. I want to start doing those for front row dads for our members. I’m doing summaries. Do you think that would be a big hit?
Grant Baldwin: 03:19 The, uh, like family book summaries? Some of it also depends on the form that people learn, the, whether it’s visual or audio or book or written or whatever it may be. Um, I know for me, I just generally don’t enjoy reading. Like I just get bored. I get distracted, but I love listening to podcasts. Uh, and so I’ll listen to hours and hours and hours of podcasts. And so, um, that’s another way. Like, I, that’s the primary way that I consume content. I don’t listen to many, um, audio books. Um, I’ve kind of gone back and forth on that. Cause I also, it’s just a bunch of podcasts I listen to that I find myself going back to and can get. Um, if there’s a book out, I could probably go find an interview with the author and get 80% of what’s in there and feel good, um, and be able to go apply it, you know.
Grant Baldwin: 04:07 So, um, so some of it just depends on, and that’s one of the nice things with blankets is they provide, uh, the audio format of it. Um, but then like that type of context, oh, Blinkus is just like a [inaudible]. It’s a summary. You can read it about 10 minutes. Um, if that, I can send it to my kindle. Um, so I have done that, but to like, I’m going to sit down for the next four hours and get lost in the book. I’m like [inaudible] I’m probably not going to do that. What type of content do you think helps you most at home? Be a better husband, be a better father? Have you found podcasts, books, resources? I would say one of the biggest resources is not necessarily, you know, any type of uh, physical or digital, um, content as much as just conversations with other dads and paying attention to other dads and what other dads are doing, which is why front row dads matter so much, you know, because it is these opportunities just kind of eavesdropping on these conversations and to be a part of these conversations of here’s what I’m doing, here’s what’s working for me, here’s how I’m being a good dad.
Grant Baldwin: 05:04 Or just paying attention to other good dads, you know, and what, what they’re doing. I know that that’s one thing that you and I both, that’s a big reason we resonate with each other and with a lot of similar guys is like, here’s guys who are entrepreneurs who are good husbands, but who like really who are trying to build something. I want to be successful and are very motivated and driven but are not going to do that as a detriment of their family. And um, so I think you and I both click on the and the side of, uh, I w I want to be a successful entrepreneur. I want to be a successful speaker, I want to be a successful fill in the blank. But if I do all those things and my kids are like, yeah, I didn’t really know him that well or my marriage sucks.
Grant Baldwin: 05:43 Like it’s not, it’s just not worth it. Not Worth it at all. So that’s the area. Like I really want to be successful in what I think about big ideas that I’ve taken away from these interviews and these conversations with these guys. One of them is be famous at home. Yeah, right. Totally. So many people spend time trying to be famous to a bunch of people that may not matter down the road but be famous at home. Be famous too. Your kids be famous to your wife, right? Yeah. I remember hearing some type of quote or something to the effect of like, like a lot of times we work so much, uh, or buy things to impress people. We don’t buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t know like exactly that whole thing. And like, yeah. But I also, I live with people that I want to love and like me.
Grant Baldwin: 06:28 Um, I like to, in fact, to that point, um, this happened a couple months ago. I was putting our youngest to bed. She’s eight and talking to her in and doing that thing. I said, you know what? I love you so much. I really like you. Started dying laughing. I was like, what are you laughing at? She was like, that just sounded so weird. I was like, it’s true. I love you. I’m your dad. I really like you. I love, I really like being around you and hanging out with you. And you’re just really fun. She just thought it was funny, you know, that’s cool. But that idea of, yeah, I want the people in my home to really like me as well. I’m Dad, I’m a husband, so I’ll, I’ll be, maybe are obligated to love me, but like I want you to like me as well. And in terms of like being around me and like, I really liked my dad, you know, tell us about your family and maybe add the element of like, what do you like so much about your family? Yeah, so I’m married to my high school sweetheart. Um, we started dating when I was 15. Uh, I was a freshman in high school. She was a junior going one now. It was that.
Grant Baldwin: 07:30 We dated for five years, got married. We’ve been married for 17 years now. So I’ve been together for 22. Uh, we have three girls, so it’s me in a house full of women, which is awesome. Uh, our girls are 13, 11, and eight. Um, and I as a guy, I always wanted a little dude. Um, and now with girls, I’m like, I would not want a little dude. Like I love our girls. Like it is, it’s just the greatest thing. Um, so I love, I love being a dad to all girls. Um, love our family, love our life. Um, my wife is a, is amazing. Um, she homeschools our girls, which I’m sure we’ll get into that a little bit. Um, but, uh, and each girl like, you know, like each girl has like their own personality, like totally different, you know, and you’re just like, you all came from the same people.
Grant Baldwin: 08:21 You live in the same home. We feed you the same food. Totally different. It’s our youngest life at the party has more energy than everybody is always just hooping it up. Um, is the class clown of the house by far? Our middle girl is the most quiet, the most shy, the most introverted, the most anxious, the most nervous about life. Um, but as also like the most caring, the most compassionate, the one that like loves the deepest. Um, and just vastly different. Our oldest is 13, is a, is hitting some of the teenage year moments. Um, but at the same time it’s like extremely motivated, very driven. Reminds me, similar to, you know, my wife and I, um, she had, she just taught herself to do a Rubik’s cube. Like I watched a couple of youtube videos and figured out how to do it and look what I did.
Grant Baldwin: 09:15 Dad. You’re like, how do you, I can’t do that. How did you do that? You know? Um, she wanted to memorize, uh, uh, the, the digits of Pi 3.14, we’ll Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah. She’s up to 200 digits, but she’s just memorized. And I’m just like, why are you doing that? Like, that’s a great party trick. But like, what’s the point of that? Like, she just like, she loves reading is, um, is a good big sister when she knows she needs to be, but time I was like, it gets annoyed with her younger siblings. Um, so it’s just, you know, how to like, it’s just all different personalities, all different interests, all different, uh, just totally different. And they’re each amazing in their own way, you know,
Jon Vroman: 09:57 what do you think is going exceptionally well at home? Maybe something that either you feel responsible for it or not. Maybe it’s just going well or maybe it’s something that you’ve been experimenting with or something that you’ve been intentional about and that you’ve created that a habit or routine or ritual or whatever it might be.
Grant Baldwin: 10:13 I think one thing we’ve done a decent job in is really promoting or pushing each of their interests. So, and what I mean by that is, um, one as a total side, I, we can talk about this if you want, but, um, I think we have, you and I have talked about about each year we take a one on one trip with each girl. And so me and my wife rotate, um, years. And so this year I took the oldest and the youngest, um, each on a one on one trip and my wife will take the middle one a and the fall on a trip and then next year it will rotate. And so I’ll take the middle one and she’ll take the youngest oldest on one on one trips. So each year, one-on-one trips and not like some elaborate. We’re going to go to Australia for a month and bass around though.
Grant Baldwin: 10:52 Like we go somewhere for two nights, um, wherever they want to go, whatever they want to do. As we’ve been doing this for I think six years now. And it started where I was, um, I was traveling to a speaking gig and our oldest, who was eight at the time, I was like, I really want to take her on some trips, some gigs, something you know how to, as a speaker, like it’s gotta be the right Gig. Like I gotta be able to keep an eye on her. Like I’ve gotta trust the people that I’m with. It’s gotta be a cool environment where it’s worth, you know, bringing her to, like, it’s just, it’s gotta check a bunch of variables in boxes plus for mom to feel comfortable. Like, okay, you’re on stage doing your thing. Someone better be freaking keeping an eye on her, you know, and you better like you ready to jump off stage if you need to.
Grant Baldwin: 11:31 So it had a check, a bunch of boxes. I did this Gig, uh, in Florida, worked out really well, a small type of venue. Um, so I was able to sit in the back on her iPad and it was good. And um, do I have it all worked out fine. But from that in each year we’ve, we’ve done these one on one trips with the girls. So all that to say, like this past year I took our middle girl on a and she’s really into, um, uh, she got really into horseback riding and so she is like I mentioned, very quiet, very shy, very introverted. So, um, uh, she does not want to participate in any type of like group, team, sport activity, anything. So just getting her to do anything felt like a stretch. And then one time in passing she like, she loves animals. So she mentioned like a horseback riding would be cool.
Grant Baldwin: 12:16 I don’t even remember where I came from. We were like, let’s do that. So quickly researched and signed her up for that. She got really into it. So this past year, her and I did, um, we live in Nashville and we took a couple of days and we drove up to Lexington, Kentucky, just a couple hours away, which is the horse capital of the world. And so we went to like horse farms. We went to this horse museum, um, and we just did all horse related things. I don’t really care about horses. It is, I just, I, I don’t, they’re lovely animals. Right. But that’s kind of the extent of it for me. Um, in the same way. Then fast forward, uh, uh, our oldest daughter is really into NASA and space and rockets and all of that. So we decided we were going to go to Cape Canaveral. So, um, uh, see, about a month or so ago, a month or two ago, uh, her and I go to Cape Canaveral, just the two of us.
Grant Baldwin: 13:06 We go to the Kennedy Space Center. We spend two full days there. Uh, just wherever you want to go, what exhibit you want us to go to, what things you want to say, where do you wanna Linger? So like when you have all the family there and all the kids there, it’s Kinda all right. It’s kind of a consensus. We all gotta decide someone’s hungry. They, we go here, someone needs to go to the bathroom to, people want to go see this show. Nobody else wants to go see that show. So you’re just, you’re playing that game. But when it’s like, Hey, this is your thing on this thing that you really care about and are really interested in, I’m just along for the ride and I’m just funding this. Where do you want to go? What do you wanna do? Amen for it. Um, and so it, it was two days of her just like geeking out on NASA and rockets and space and all of that.
Grant Baldwin: 13:46 And again, like I personally, I’m, you know, whatever, it’s fine. Uh, I don’t really care about that, but they’re into it. So therefore like, okay, I’m going to go all in on horses and rockets and Assa I like, I was Kinda by the end of both of them are you into it now? I was Kinda geeking out on it. Like a few weeks later, there was a rocket launch. We were supposed to go see a rocket launch and postpone. And so there’s a different rocket launch. And I was messaging with her. I was like, Hey, did you see this? Did you tell how [inaudible] let’s watch the replay, can make them email them socially, play on Youtube. And like, it was cool cause like we’d been there together, you know? And so all that to say like, um, one thing I think we’ve, we’ve done well is like what are the things that they are interested in and um, how to, I’m going to, I’m going to be into that if you’re into horses. Cool. I don’t know squat about horses, but I’m gonna figure it out and I’m going to be into horses and you’re into NASA. Awesome. I don’t really care about the space program, but I’m going to be end of your end. Um, so I think like that or just having some type of like shared interests, it has been helpful and valuable. Yeah. That’s so cool. Okay. As this show airs
Jon Vroman: 14:51 the week after, we have a, a guy named Brandon Miller who wrote a book about finding and kind of nurturing a, your kids’ strengths. So it’s a strengths based, right? And uh, I love this idea. I think this is actually gonna be a nice setup for that show. And you know, this idea of following your kids’ passions, right? Noticing what lights them up, noticing where they come alive is really important. And one of the things that we’ve struggled with, and I’m wondering if you’ve noticed this at all in Europe world as a dad, is that sometimes like my son tiger, I’ll give you a specific example. He might be into something that to us or like, Oh, I wish you were in this something else. Right? Like example would be like putty, he’s into Putty, right? Okay. Silly putty or slime and he has so much slime and we’ll go to like we’re traveling in another city or something and we’re like, kids, if you want to get a souvenir, like go pick something out because the gift shop at the museum and you’re thinking he could get any of these amazing things.
Jon Vroman: 15:50 And he already owns like 40 tens of putty, but he walks up with three tens of Pedy and he’s like, I want putty and there’s a part of me that wants to go, are you insane? Like why would you waste your money on putty? And then I tried to catch myself and I think what’s interesting is crazy. Aaron who sells a gazillion tubs of putty is probably a bazillionaire, you know, and living out his wildest dreams built this incredible company all around the fact that he loves putty. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m projecting my values onto tiger and I should just support whatever that is. Or is it my job as a dad to push them a little bit and say there’s a world bigger than putty, right? There’s things other than that that you might be maybe that are more valuable, you know, but maybe that’s me. I don’t know. Do you ever wrestle with like second hand market for petty, those strong. So a lot of college investment opportunities was there for him in the future. Long term putty collections.
Grant Baldwin: 16:49 How old is he? 10. Yeah, so I think some of it is also just kind of like phases, you know, that kids go through. Uh, our youngest who I mentioned is eight. You mentioned like the souvenir thing on trips. And so we, we uh, on some trip we tried to do a souvenir for the girls. If it’s a place we’ve never been to, but if like we’ve been here before, you don’t need another key chain from this place. Um, but uh, so she got, our youngest wanted something, um, from each, our, our middle girl had a key chain from each place. And so the youngest one, a snow globe from each place. And so she started building this collection of Snow Globes. Right. And I’m just like, why are always for the money on this? You know, this is silly snow gloves really like dumb. But again, it’s also something like she is into but not like in an unhealthy way.
Grant Baldwin: 17:39 You know, it’s just a, it’s a, it’s a fun thing for her to, to commemorate trips. She is not like, man, I’m just going in and I’m just shaking up all of it. If I can shake up all of it at same time, the Alec, how cool it is. You know, I was like, it’s not like, it’s not like that. It’s just kind of a cool, I don’t even know actually the past couple of years is she’s got a snow globe. So that’s kind of what I’m getting at with like the phase part of it. It just like today he’s really into silly buddy, you know, and a year from now, maybe totally into something else and that’s not silly putty and you may be wishing like, and I kind of miss the silly buddy days that, the other thing too is like, I think it’s helpful for um, any of us, um, to have like healthy outlets.
Grant Baldwin: 18:19 Like you and I are both like motivated, driven entrepreneurs. And so it can be easy to just get stuck head down and you’re just like, man, it’d be good for me to like, uh, take a mental break and do nothing or play with putty or something, you know. So for example, one of ’em, uh, do you golf at all? Was a little bit okay. So I ah, before we had kids, I golf once or twice a week. Really enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun when we had kids. It’s just, it’s time consuming and expensive. And so just Kinda, Eh, um, so I kept my clubs but just hadn’t played. So I got back into it last year and this year I’ve gotten really into it. Um, to the point that as of like a month ago, I got like this simulator for the garage. And on one hand it’d be easy to say, like, this grant guy has really gone down the rabbit hole on golf.
Grant Baldwin: 19:08 He was playing some and then he got some lessons and they got a simulator and then like borderline out of control. And, but for me it’s just like, it’s a good mental outlet, you know? And so it, it’s one of those things, like it may not make sense to anybody else. Everybody else may be like, what, why does he play golf so much? Like it’s a stupid game, you know? And there are a lot of days I’m like, this is a stupid game, but it’s just, it’s a good mental break for me, you know, for lights. Yeah. Yeah. Something that’s just fun that has no, you know, work associated with it. So to some degree, like that could be the case for the kids. You know, just like they do this thing that my oldest memorizing 200 digits of Pi, you know, for me, I’m just like, what a waste of time.
Grant Baldwin: 19:48 That’s silly, you know? But for her it’s like, it’s a cool mental exercise of learning how to, how to do it and challenging herself to do it. You know, it started with, with 10 digits and then 50 digits and the a hundred. I wonder if I just did a a hundred, I wonder if I can do 200, you know? Um, and so for me I’m going like, well that seems silly, but for her like that’s cool. That’s awesome. You know, cause also know like she’s probably not going to spend her whole life going, how do I, how do I get to 500 digits or a thousand digits or at some point she’s going to be like, okay, I’m good. You know, I’ve, I’ve got 200 digits. That’s pretty cool. Um, moving on to the next thing. If it sticks, I’ll just send you this recording later and we’ll laugh at it together.
Grant Baldwin: 20:26 So that backfired. She’s going to prove you wrong. Hey, let’s follow this path a little bit, this idea of kids and passions and let’s turn the corner a little bit into the homeschooling because you brought this up. Yeah. I like to sort of use this as a lead into that because how do help your kids follow their passions with school at home? How much of it is like, no, you need to know this because that’s what the world says. You need to know. Yeah. Even though you may never use this, this is part of like curriculum that every 14 year old is supposed to know. [inaudible] hey, you’re passionate about that study that all day long. How are you balancing that? Yeah, so, um, it reminds me also my wife, I have a read this book. Um, it’s called the one, uh, one world schoolhouse education re-imagine.
Grant Baldwin: 21:21 Um, it’s by the founder of Khan Academy. So, um, uh, she was on a, my wife was on a trip and just mentioned to me, she was like, I listened to the audio book of this coming back and she’s like, this was the best education homeschool book I have read. It was just really, really, really good. Uh, I have not read it again. She told me about this a couple days ago. She listened to the audiobook, already ordered the, uh, paperback and has started going through it again, has been telling people about it. So all I know about it is like, it really helps her have some like common language for education and, and homeschooling. But one of the, one of the main things that we’ve, um, that I think was that helped her with the book that is something that like we’ve spent a lot of time with is, um, and I should also preface all this by saying like, we homeschool the girls.
Grant Baldwin: 22:08 This is our, I think sixth or seventh year doing that. And I say we very, very, very loosely. Um, and that she does 99% of it. And I’m the, uh, the PE teacher that just wants to make out with the principal. That’s honey, when can we have another parent teacher conference or good. Um, so, uh, so for her, is that the first time you’ve ever used that analogy? I know I’ve used that before for sure. Um, some of this depends on like age and stage of life, you know, so like our eight year old, um, needs to learn some like basic math, writing, typing skills, you know, type things that are really going to be relevant and applicable, whatever you do. And, and, and any facet festival life. Our oldest is 13. Well, we’ve given her a bit more bandwidth on, all right. All right, here’s some core things that you want to do.
Grant Baldwin: 23:03 Um, but what are some other things that you’re interested in? You know, so, all right, you’re super interested in, um, uh, rocket science or astrophysicist, uh, physics, um, or some of these things that like I have, I know squat about. Um, but if that’s something that you’re interested in, let’s go down that, that’s good on the trail and see where it leads. It may lead to nothing. Um, but it may also be like, wow, I didn’t realize, um, you know, these, this thing that she’s really interested in, she’s actually really good at or knows a lot about. You know? Um, so that’s something that we’ve tried to encourage. Um, cause especially like, like I was saying, kids who were like kindergarten, first, second, third grade, like it’s pretty much the basics that you’re going to have to learn whether you’re doing it at home. Are
Jon Vroman: 23:46 you doing it at school? We kind of felt like we could do it quicker or have a bit more freedom and flexibility and we probably wouldn’t screw them up too bad if we do it at home. Um, but you get to a point where it’s like, I mean the stuff that you and I, we’re taught in high school is probably the most part, the same stuff they’re still teaching today and yet we live in a vastly different world. And so, um, giving them some more freedom of flexibility and autonomy to pursue things that they’re interested in and figure out like, where does this apply in life and how is this relevant and how would you use this and why does this matter? Um, because the more like, you know how it is, like the more you as a human are interested in a topic or care about a topic or passionate a topic, like the more you’re willing to go down that rabbit trail, you know? Um, versus like, if we’re just dictating, oh, you need to learn trigonometry because that’s what, you know, high school freshmen do. It’s like, but why, why?
Jon Vroman: 24:45 Hey guys, I want to take a second to tell you about our front row dads retreat. If you would value connecting with a brotherhood of likeminded and like-hearted guys who want to deepen their sense of purpose and meaning as fathers and within their families and to talk about and share the best practices and the strategies for ultimate family success, then this event might be for you if you add value being around high performing guys without the big egos, guys that believe in being family, men with businesses and not businessmen with families. You might enjoy our front row dads retreat twice a year. We’re getting together in person, small groups, cool locations, guest experts and so much more for these events. We’ve now done this multiple times. It has sold out every single time and if you’re excited about it, make sure to check it firstname.lastname@example.org where you can apply for the next retreat now.
Jon Vroman: 25:35 Hi, one of the things you might be wondering is, does leaving my family make me a better dad or husband? The answer is for many of you, I know you travel a bunch, you do other things and the idea for this one is you have to retreat to advance. You have to take a step back to gain the perspective so that we can go back and crush it within our families. This is the same concept that works in business where you take a moment, do you think you plan, you strategize, you work on your family so that you can be better in your family. If that all sounds good, check it out front row dads.com that’s exactly what I wanted to ask you because you know how it was going to use like calculus or right. Wherever that might be. At what point do you say these are the baseline skills that somebody needs? Like I agree somebody should be able to do, you know, math, basic math, like you need to add things, subtract things, divide things. I think those are valuable life skills. Even understanding some metrics, right? Or just things that we’ll use longterm. But when it comes to trigonometry, you go, I can’t get behind wanting my child to want to know that because I know that for me there were things like that. I struggled
Grant Baldwin: 26:44 with that just because then somebody labeled me with a grade or said, hey, you’re not good at that. I took a hit as a result of that to my identity, then maybe I’m not enough or I’m not smart enough or good enough or whatever it might be. And I don’t think those are healthy things. Totally. And so I think some of this depends on, well, some of it like depends on what, uh, the state requires in order for your kid to continue moving up and [inaudible] regulate your homeschooling to some degree. And I think it’s like a net, well, I know this, again, like I’m not in the weeds at all. Sh I could pull her in and she could tell you the correct answer. My understanding is each state is vastly different. And so the homeschool laws are going to be, you know, simpler and some states versus others.
Grant Baldwin: 27:32 So it may be like, okay, your child needs to get a hundred hours worth of math education this year, but math education could look a variety of different ways. So like in this case, our oldest who’s into NASA rockets math, like she loves that stuff. You know, we watched, um, the movie, uh, hidden figures. Did you see that? No. Um, the ladies from like back in the, I think it’s like in the 50s, sixties helped to help behind the scenes. These African American women who helped, um, uh, put these white men on, on, on the moon, you know, is really, is really fascinating. But it was, there was so much like, um, math by hand, not like I’m going to punch it into my Mac book and see what it spits out, but like I’m doing this, she loved that part of it. Right. So to her, if you said, um, hey, um, you should, you know, you should look into calculus, it’s pretty cool.
Grant Baldwin: 28:29 She’d be like, yes, let’s do that in large part because she’s like, she would love to work for NASA someday. Right. So that’s probably going to be a part of it versus, um, you know, another child who may be like, I don’t see math and her future and you know, today we have calculators and that’s going to get her most of the way there. So let’s make sure she knows how to count and do basic addition, subtraction, multiplication, division. And she probably pretty good, you know, I mean, just think about like, she, they’re there now, like they spend time, um, learning how to do like long division and like they, my wife’s out of town at some point recently and I was supposed to be helping one of them with some long division stuff and I had to like watch a video to remember how to do it.
Grant Baldwin: 29:15 I started doing it and then I did it on my calculator and it was the wrong answer. Yeah. I don’t know what I did wrong, you know, so like, and then I’m having to go back through. And so part of me is like, what’s the point of teaching? Like how to do long division when every one of us carries a calculator in our pocket. You know? Um, so there’s that just kinda like, all right, what does the state require? But then also like what is need it and like realistic and life, you know? Um, and so there’s definitely like there’s a balance there. Um, so yeah, it’s, it’s kind of an interesting challenge to go back and forth with. I’ve laughed at, because it was like a week or two ago
Jon Vroman: 29:54 tiger’s doing some math thing and I was, I don’t remember what I said. I said, here, let me show you how, and I busted out this piece of paper and I was like,
Grant Baldwin: 30:00 and I started doing something and I’m gone. I actually don’t know what I’m saying. I said, let me show you how we find an answer when we don’t know. And then we went to Khan Academy.
Jon Vroman: 30:09 Yup. On the answer. And uh, you know what, I keep telling tigers, I say, look buddy, that anytime that we’re learning something new, you have to remember is I’m not interested in necessarily you remembering 20 years how to do that thing. What I’m interested in is who you are when you approach a problem. Totally. But what I’ve been working with him on a lot lately is like his breathing when he’s working on a problem. The physiology and psychology that he carries into problems is what I’m obsessed with. I tell him all the time, I go, look, you could ask Alexa right now to answer any question that you basically want
Grant Baldwin: 30:43 10 years from now it’s going to be even better.
Jon Vroman: 30:45 Nice to have. But the thing that you’ll carry with you is the how to solve problems and your tenacity and your persistence. So that’s what I’m obsessed with.
Grant Baldwin: 30:54 Yeah, I would totally agree. Um, of you don’t know the answer and that’s okay, but do you know how to find the answer or don’t know how to look into it and know where to go? Um, cause also again, you, you think about, you think about the way school is done today in the traditional public school format versus the way life is. Like, again, we all carry calculators in our pockets all the time and have easy access so that the chances of needing to do long division by hand on paper and any scenario of life, like I don’t, I have a hard time getting there. Um, but I know how to find the answer and a quicker way, the same way that like teaching your kids, I don’t care if you can regurgitate all 40, however many presidents that we’ve had in whatever order, but do you know where to go to find it?
Grant Baldwin: 31:43 And what would you look for on Google and you know, that type of stuff. Or like, do you know where to go and do you know what to do to find the answer? Because that’s life skills, you know, like knowing how to like, cause everyday you and I are going to encounter things like I don’t know the answer, but I, I have built a skill over time of knowing where to find the answer or to resource or knowing who to talk to and knowing how to connect with those people. Like, and that was another thing that was, um, uh, my wife has always like really valued and about homeschool. And she said this book really emphasized was only in school or we put in a classroom with, um, everybody else who, uh, is based on when we were born and our age. Right. I have, um, but you, you, you grow up in life and you’re going to be interacting with people of all ages. Right? You and I are friends. I have no idea how old you are. You may be way older. You may be way younger than me, but like way younger. [inaudible] Grant Baldwin: 32:43 44, 44 younger, no idea. I know I’m 38. Yeah, I think I’m 37 actually, I’ll be 38 now. So like, let’s, let’s rewind the tape. I mean, so when I was in kindergarten, you would’ve been in, what, sixth, seventh grade or something that we would have never been friends. Right? Yeah. But like you fast forward and like, that’s not the way life works. You interact with your friends, with your peers, with your colleagues, with people of all ages, you know? And so, um, so like one of the exercises we do is like when we go to a restaurant, um, we do not order for the girls. We, you talk to the adult and you interact with them and you tell them what you, if you need, I need extra ketchup. Awesome. There’s the server, I’m happily, I’m happy to flag them down for you, but then you can interact with them and you can talk with them, you know? So like that type of thing. Cause like that’s the way it is in life. And so saying like, I’m only gonna interact with these, you know, 25 people cause they happen to be my age and we all happen to have a similar birthday and we’re all in the same classroom. Like that’s not the way it is, you know? So like those types of things, um, that carry on beyond just the classroom.
Jon Vroman: 33:49 Yeah. That’s really good man. Hey, on the flip side of all this, of what’s going great and following passions and, uh, you know, all the strengths based conversation, where do you want answers right now? Grant as a husband and as a dad, like where are you in a place of like seeking wisdom or what are you most challenged by as a dad?
Grant Baldwin: 34:10 I would say like with each kid it’s different. Um, that’d be part of it is kind of what’s there with their unique challenge currently. So for example, our oldest, uh, like I mentioned is very motivated, very driven. Um, uh, two nights ago cause she comes down to the table, um, with her computer and she says, Hey, can you help me start finding scholarships? It’s like you’re 13, these scholarships are going to be relevant to you at some point. I don’t even know if they make scholarships available for 13 year olds. And so we sit down and have a conversation. I show her what to look for and like we just talk it through, you know, here’s some things to think about. Like as you’re thinking about colleges and careers and paying for it and let’s look up colleges. What are some schools that you might be interested in?
Grant Baldwin: 34:52 What are you interested in studying? Let’s look up some schools that might be, let’s talk about the difference between in state tuition versus out of state tuition. Here’s some things that your mom and I did to save some money with college. Like, so just talking through all of that. So on one hand I’m like, Dang, she’s 13 and she’s thinking about that. That’s awesome. Right? But the other side of me is like, just be a 13 year old, just be a 13 year old girl, you know? And like you’re gonna grow up fast enough. So just like, just enjoy this, you know, don’t take your, take your nose out of the book and let’s go look, let’s go do something fun. You know? So there’s like that challenge of like, man, this girl is really pushing and like in good ways. So it’s not like, and she’s hanging out with horrible people and I don’t know what to do.
Grant Baldwin: 35:28 Like she’s not at all, I was like, she’s making good decisions, but she’s also like so motivated and driven that I’m just like, do I need to help her pump the brakes? And if so, how do you do that? You know, so like that, that’d be a challenge. Our youngest or our middle one deals with like massive anxiety issues. And so it affects her in all phases of life. Like she, she’s just scared of her shadow. Like not literally, but not too far off from that at times. And so just like helping her be brave in life. So one of the things I tell her all the time is like, and she repeats after me. Uh, I’m brave, I’m strong, I can do hard things. I’m brave, I’m strong, I can do hard things, you know, cause you just get so nervous and so deep in her own head.
Grant Baldwin: 36:08 So helping, helping navigate that, you know, and understand that our, our youngest, um, is the sassiest. And so, uh, our middle one will never be disrespectful to anyone and our youngest will spout off like it’s nothing and it’s super emotional and we’ll burst into tears at a moment’s notice. And so navigating that, like, how do I know, um, when the press and how I know when to let off, you know, um, the last night I pressed and she burst into tears and my wife was like, press too much and you’re just like, [inaudible] can’t do that though, you know? So, so like, just like, again, each of them are different. Each of them are different personalities and each of them have their own set of strengths and each of them have their own set of challenges, you know, so just knowing how to navigate each of them and knowing like, how do I love you individually and help you with the challenges that you have. Um, so it’s, it’s tough, you know, and sometimes you’re like, okay, all right, we’re good. And some days you’re like, I hope this one turns out okay. I don’t know what I’m doing. That will to be determined, I guess.
Jon Vroman: 37:14 Okay. Let’s see if we, uh, in the next five minutes, I want to see if we can get to two more questions here. I’m just going to try to create a book end here with two big questions that may be just completely separate from what we were just talking about and in two different areas. One is going back to your childhood. I think there’s a lot to be learned as dads from our own childhood. I’m actually asking you, but I’m asking all the listeners out there too, consider this question, which is what was great about your childhood. You could even take it to what wasn’t great, but something that taught you something as a kid that’s impacted your life as a dad. Let’s start with that one and then we’ll see if we have time for the second one.
Grant Baldwin: 37:50 Yeah. So, um, I would say I had a pretty solid childhood. Um, uh, I’m the oldest of three, have a younger brother, younger sister. We’ve all been quote unquote successful, uh, however you would define that. Um, but all like normal self, sufficient functioning citizens and humans. Um, and so my parents, our parents split up when I was in like seventh grade. Um, so that had a big impact on me for sure. Um, kinda those formative teen years. Um, think your parents have a great marriage and all of a sudden they don’t and you’re just like, what the crap. I did not see that coming. I didn’t know anybody whose parents were divorced. And so it was something I was like embarrassed about and didn’t want to talk about. Uh, when that happened, um, my dad and I had a bit of a fallen out today.
Grant Baldwin: 38:32 Things were amazing. His best man at my wedding, like we have a relationship. Um, but I think part of it was just like as a teenager, um, your parents split, you see that you, um, they never pushed us, but you also felt like never pushed us, like pick a side. But you also kind of felt like, I think this is dad’s fault. I’m going to side with mom and so therefore I’m going to cut off dad. So a lot of the falling out was on me, um, of just like a 13 year old boy being protective of mom, you know, type thing. Um, but I would say like, despite that season of life, like I have, I have still to this day, I have amazing parents and really lucked out. Um, both parents were awesome, learned a lot from both of them in a variety of different ways.
Grant Baldwin: 39:13 I’m still very close with both of them, especially my mom. Uh, we, I mentioned we moved to, um, Nashville about five, four and a half years ago or so. My mom moved out here with us. Um, she lives about a mile away and we see her all the time and do trips with her and do life with her and love it. And so, yeah, I mean, both of them I learned different things from, from both of my dad was very entrepreneurial, um, was very hardworking driven guy. And so that had an impact on me as well of seeing like I come home from school and my, and my dad’s there and, and he’ll stop and go play catch with me or whatever, you know. Um, and so like that had, you know, that had an impact. So, um, yeah, I would say like my childhood was nowhere near perfect, but it wasn’t bad. Like it wasn’t, um, I compounded therapy today because of, um, my parents or my siblings. Like my, I have a great relationship with my siblings and, um, so yeah, like one perfect, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t awful by any means.
Jon Vroman: 40:07 Yeah. Let’s see if we can get to two more. This might be an easy one. Cherished family tradition right now. Something that, you know, habit, a ritual routine that’s, you know, you can ever see it going away.
Grant Baldwin: 40:19 So one thing that we really enjoy it because we just enjoy travel, enjoy trips, we enjoy experiences. So that’s something that we frequently, we’re taking trips and, and like we want our girls to have those life experiences. So we talk regularly like, Oh, you remember when we, when we went to this place where we did that thing or we had that experience. And like those shared experiences, um, has always been that brew a valuable one. Like thing on a practical level, anyone could do is we started this thing a couple of months ago at dinner. Each night we go around the table. Scale of one to 10. How was your day? 10 greatest day I’ve ever had one. Terrible, horrible, no good. Very bad day. Hope I never have this day again. Just go around. What’d you have today? And we just go around the table. Well, you had a seven.
Grant Baldwin: 40:59 Why was it a seven? Well, you know, this happened. Oh, okay. Well hopefully tomorrow is a new day and you know, uh, what do you, what’d you have? Oh, you had a nine. Dang, that’s a great day. You know, I remember yesterday it was, it was this 7.6. So why was it a nine today? You know, so just talking about why did you have a good day? Why did you have a bad day? Um, so that’d be like a simple thing. We’ve been doing, uh, a few months now. Um, this just kind of a fun thing. And if I forget to start it, our youngest will initiate it. Dad, dad, let’s do the question. You know. Um, so that’s, that’s Kinda fun.
Jon Vroman: 41:27 It’s awesome man. And, uh, just shout out to who do you think is a great dad out there and one reason why you think that is, you can keep this one short. I know we’re up against the clock here.
Grant Baldwin: 41:39 Good question. Good question. So in our neighborhood, there’s several dads. I’m good friends with, um, Jason and Jeff and Colt and these guys that are kind of in this culdesac that we live in are all dads that I’m close with but was just, they’re good dads, um, and great guys. And um, we all enjoy hanging out with each other, but also like, I just around them a lot to see them interact with their kids and with their wives and um, with other kids and um, they’re just great, great human beings, great dads. So, um, sometimes it’s like, it’s the dads that we look up to that we are, the, are the, like we know of are like names, but it’s also like, I don’t know the guys that live here within a hundred yards and they’re all like Greg great dads that, you know, nobody would necessarily know, um, who they are. So, uh, yeah. Great guys.
Jon Vroman: 42:25 And you think what makes them great is just their demeanor. Do you respect the energy they show up with?
Grant Baldwin: 42:31 Yeah, I think it’s definitely that. I think it’s also like, um, there are times where there’s an opportunity for like the [inaudible] guys, the dads to hang out and they’re like, well, I’d love to, but I’m doing this with my kid, you know? And so they were never going to choose themselves over the kid, you know, for the most part. Um, they want to, they just want to be with their kid and they want to, they want to spend quality time together. One of the guys just took a trip with, um, just as old as they went to a baseball game. So halfway across the country to go to a game, you know, and like that type of thing of just like, it’d be easier not to go to a game and not to spend that money, but, and, or to take all the kids, you know, or to take none of the kids but to say, Hey, I’m uh, I’m gonna do this one on one trip and I’m gonna take this one kid, we’re gonna do this one thing. Like, that’s important, you know? Um, so those type of little moments, it’s cool, man.
Jon Vroman: 43:16 Grand. Thanks so much man for the time. It’s really good to get reconnected with you. And you know, dude, you’re just a, you’re a solid human. That’s the way I’d sum it up. You’re just a solid human and I’m really grateful to be in conversation with you like this and learning from you and with you about life. Guys, I want to tell you if you’re out there listening, you know, this whole show is focused on family stuff, but grant runs the speaker lab podcast. And if you ever thought about getting into the speaking game or know somebody who does, you got to send them to grant. I send everybody his way. It’s a great stuff. If they want to learn about your world, is it just grant baldwin.com?
Grant Baldwin: 43:50 Yeah, grandma.com. Um, but yeah, the, the speaking stuff is email@example.com. Yeah, that’d be the main stuff. I’m on social media and Instagram and Facebook and that stuff. And in fact it was funny, I was going through Instagram the other day. I’m like, all the pictures pretty much are of my family. Like I was going through someone else’s and is like, there’s nothing wrong with posting lots of business stuff or whatever stuff. Um, I was going to turn this like I just don’t post a of business office pretty much all like, here’s my kids again, here’s my wife again. Uh, look how cool they are. So yeah, got a good crew.
Jon Vroman: 44:23 It’s awesome man. Appreciate you buddy. I’m going to let you get about your day and uh, look forward to more, but thanks for the time today. And I’ll hit you up when I’m in Tennessee next time. Come on down man. I appreciate you and they go. A lot of you. All right buddy. Hey guys, if you haven’t already done so, go right now to front row dads.com/facebook and join the conversation that’s happening right now on line. We designed this group for guys who are entrepreneurial in their thinking that are high performing guys with low egos. We’re looking for the dads that believe in teaching their kids how to think, solve problems and be real leaders. We’re looking for guys who believe in being family, men with businesses, not businessmen with families. We’re looking for the fathers who have great knowledge but also believe that they have so much more to learn and we’re looking for men who want to add value by sharing their wisdom and those that are willing to ask the questions that we all need and want answers to.
Jon Vroman: 45:18 That’s front row dads.com/facebook or simply go to Facebook, type in front row dads and you’ll get to our group and what we put in there, links to all the podcasts and videos and other resources that you can’t get access to anywhere else except for in this group. We want to give you the best ideas to help you with your marriage, balancing work and family life communication strategies with your spouse and also your children, travel ideas and even suggestions on the latest gear that would save you time and help you be more effective. We’ve got updates on upcoming events and so much more. Go right now to front row dads.com/facebook and join the conversation. I’ll look forward to connecting with you there.
Speaker 4: 46:00 [inaudible].