Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome & Managing Boundaries, Shame and Our Triggered Nervous Systems with Dr. Robert Glover

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Today, I’m joined by Dr. Robert Glover. Robert is a therapist, coach, speaker, and author of the groundbreaking book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. This is a must-read for men who struggle with expressing their needs and setting healthy boundaries without feeling guilty or shame.

In our conversation, we explored how our childhood traumas set the stage for how we manage emotions and interact in our relationships and how to ditch those “covert contracts” we make with people, assuming they should read our minds and know what we want without us having to say it.

Robert shares practical advice on how to set boundaries in a way that doesn’t alienate others and instead draws them in. You’ll also hear about the 3 covert contracts that nice guys make with themselves that cause anger and frustration. We also bonded a bit by talking openly about how we handled disagreements in our own marriages, how easily we get triggered, and how to approach these moments with love the next time. Enjoy!

A Wide-Ranging Conversation Through…

  • Early days of No More Mr. Nice Guy
  • The toxic extremes of nice guys and jerks
  • Identifying the two types of “nice guys”
  • The challenge of managing boundaries & shame
  • Three covert contracts that nice guys make
  • The link between our nervous system and triggers
  • Robert’s mindfulness routine for dealing with anxiety
  • How letting go brings us closer to the answers we seek
  • Boundaries are for me, not you
“Both the nice guy and asshole jerk are driven by shame, fear, and anxiety. And I think both stay in a pretty constant state of fight, flight, freeze.” - Dr. Robert Glover Share on X “One of the problems we all deal with is confirmation bias. If we have a strongly held belief about something, the world is going to support that belief. So if we have some sense of, ‘I’m not OK, I’m not good enough,’ we’re gonna see the… Share on X

Resources:

Dr. Robert Glover Bio

Dr. Robert Glover is a seasoned therapist, coach, speaker, and educator with more than 40 years of expertise in relationships. He is the acclaimed author of several bestsellers, including “No More Mr. Nice Guy” and “Dating Essentials for Men,” as well as his latest work, “Dating Essentials for Men: Frequently Asked Questions.” Over the decades, Dr. Glover has guided thousands of men around the globe, helping them achieve transformational changes in their relationships, careers, and sex lives.

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