How would you feel if you wanted to get your wife pregnant, but couldn’t?
Our guest today breaks down just how real, raw, and painful this can be.
As you’ll read in the bio below – Brian has built an awesome family, several successful businesses, he landed the cover of Men’s Health magazine (twice!), and today we’re getting a look into his personal life and daily schedule, which no doubt includes his personal philosophies and daily habits for a thriving marriage, and raising happy & healthy kids.
Things you’ll learn…
- How he and his wife struggled, and then found success through IVF
- The one thing that makes the biggest difference in his marriage
- Should kids be allowed to interrupt
- How to get 3.5 hours of alone time, so you can give your best to the family
- The details behind Brians uber-productive schedule (and how he treats weekends)
- Managing a busy schedule between work and family life
- Who to lean on for advice for fatherhood
- Keeping excitement and connect in your marriage
- A breakdown on Brian’s upcoming event with special guest David Goggins
- Exploring how fitness elevates all areas of his life as a dad and husband
More About Brian Mazza …
Based out of New York, Brian is the creator of the brand, The Ainsworth.
Grossing over 100 Million in revenue in the Food & Beverage industry, Brian has been able to switch gears become a growing influence in the Health & Wellness space.
After creating The Ainsworth, Brian saw a void in the Menswear market, and created Windsor Custom, a mens custom clothing company nestled under the original Ainsworth.
Gracing the cover of The New York Times Style section, and grossing over 5 Million dollars in revenue in five years, Brian saw an opportunity to sell the business to focus on the growth of his powerhouse sports bar brand.
He has always been an athlete, competing at a highly competitive level and constantly pushing the limits with one goal, to always become better.
After winning a National Championship for FC Westchester, Brian received a scholarship to play Division 1 Soccer at The University of Rhode Island.
A two time, back to back, winner of Turf Wars, and landing a Men’s Health cover, Brian is setting the Tone.
Most importantly, Brian is a proud father to his son Leo and husband to CNN corespondent Chloe Melas Mazza.
With no intention of slowing down, he is destined to become an unstoppable force in the utilizing his personal brand and beyond.
Join The Brotherhood
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Read The TranscriptRead The Full Transcript
[00:00:03] Brian Mazza: I’m surrounding myself with people throughout the day that are constantly challenging me and I think that’s a really big important factor in personal growth is once you stop doing that, then you cannot grow anymore.
[00:00:20] Jon Vroman: All right guys, we’ve got a great show for you today with my friend Brian Maza. Before I get into his resume, welcome to all the new guys. This is the Front Row Dads podcast. I’m your host Jon Vroman and this is a show dedicated to guys who want to be family men with businesses, not businessmen with families. Now while my guess Brian today has an impressive business resume. He certainly most proud of being a father to his son Leo and husband to CNN correspondent Chloe Melas Mazza. He’s based out in New York. He’s the creator of the brand, the Ainsworth having gross over a hundred million in revenue in the food and beverage industry. He did quite well. He also saw a void in the men’s wear market and created Windsor Custom. He graced the cover of the New York Times style section and also the cover of Men’s Health and after selling his company.
[00:01:03] Jon Vroman: Brian recently was able to switch gears becoming a powerful influence in the health and wellness space. In fact, I saw on his Instagram account, I think he’s got 118,000 followers there, so he’s getting some attention. He’s always been an athlete, competed at a very high level and he’s always pushing the limits. You’re going to sense that today from this definite high achiever and now he’s launching a brand new event, which we’ll talk about at the end of this show. So guys, some of the things we’re going to get into today, we have a really great free flowing conversation. I know you’re really going to enjoy this. It moves fast. It’s only about 35 minutes I think, but what we’re talking about is like what rules has he set up for himself to be a great dad? We get into his morning routine, how he owns the day, starting off at 3:45 AM how he continues to learn with such a busy schedule.
[00:01:48] Jon Vroman: I want to know when is he reading? What is he learning stuff? He had a really good answer for that. Who he goes to, who he leans on for advice about fatherhood. What’s the one thing that’s made the biggest impact on his marriage? Why he felt like a failure. He talks really openly about this when he couldn’t conceive children naturally and wanted to pursue IVF. We had a great chat there and also what’s helped him to overcome some of his darker days and how’s he remain intimate with his wife was such a busy schedule like how are they connecting. There’s so much in this interview. I know you’re absolutely going to love it. Guys. Before I turn it over to my conversation with Brian, a couple of the things I want to let you know. Number one, thank you guys so much for your reviews on iTunes.
[00:02:29] Jon Vroman: You know, one of the things that we want to do is we want to get this show out to as many fathers and husbands who are also successful businessmen, but again, like I said, family men with businesses, we want to get the show out there to them and share this wisdom. So having you write a review on the show helps us to gain more exposure and if you want to do that, by the way, just go to frontrowdads.com/review. Thanks to West Frank for his review. He said John is way of speaking with people that allows and to make sure that the best and most practical tips and ideas come to the surface of the conversation. The podcast is a staple on my car playlist and I constantly find myself going back and listening to highlights later to take notes and write down book recommendations mentioned on the show.
[00:03:05] Jon Vroman: Love the variety of the guests. Thank you, West Frank for writing that. Guys, I wanted to let you know that if you want to write a review about this show today, please mention Brian Mazza’s name in the review, screenshot it and then email it to me directly. email@example.com. I will get that email personally and I would like to put something in the mail as a thank you to the first three people that write a review about and mentioned Brian’s show, screenshot it, send it to me and I will personally but something in the mail for you to say thank you for this. We have a goal right now of hitting a hundred reviews on iTunes and I think we’re sitting close to 60, I think is where we are. And so, uh, we want to hear what you have to say and hey, I want an honest review so look, know, do I like the five stars?
[00:03:50] Jon Vroman: Of course. Do we want to deliver five star service here for you? Of course. But you know, hey, give us an honest rating and review. We want to know how we’re doing. I also want to tell you for a quick second guys before we get into the interview about our membership that we have, we have more and more questions coming in about this. Uh, some of you know, we have an open Facebook group where you can just go right now and type in front row dads on Facebook and join this group of about 800 men who are having conversations around health and emotional mastery and marriage and parenting and education. We’d love to have you there. Our format in that group is really simple. It’s ask, give, win, props. So you’ve got a question, ask it. You can just put a little hashtag ask at the beginning and pose your question.
[00:04:29 Jon Vroman: Uh, you have something to give to the group, a victory. You know, you’ve got some resource, right, that you’ve stumbled upon, that you have a, hey guys, I found this book and I want to give you a recommendation. You share that you can also share a win. Hey, what’s going well? A lot of times in celebrating your victories publicly, you give other guys ideas on what they can be in pursuit of what they can set their sights for. And then finally, props. Hey, giving recognition to somebody for the great advancements they’re making as a father, husband and family man. So anyway, we’d love to for you to join that group. We also have a paid group and the paid group is a monthly membership fee or a yearly membership fee. This is a smaller group of men. Right now we’re approaching 80 guys in that group and this is a group reserved for high performing entrepreneurial men who want to be amazing husbands and fathers and have a more intimate conversation.
[00:05:22] Jon Vroman: You know, these are guys that get invited to our private retreats that we have one in the spring, one in the fall and we have two monthly calls. We have a call called a riff call, which is where guys can ask anything they want, they can share anything they want. We have a great conversation with our members. We also have a training call where I bring in some of my friends who are experts in different fields and have them teach on the call and do Q and. A. We have our buddy Hal Elrod, who’s on our next training call. He wrote a book called the Miracle Morning, has a new book out called the Miracle Equation and he’s going to be running our next training call. He’s one of our members in the group and we’d love for you to join in membership. Now if you go to the website right now, you can’t join.
[00:06:00] Jon Vroman: Somebody called me the other day and said, I know how you could grow your membership is if you just actually opened up a way for people to sign up and our goal here was to only open up membership a couple times a year and I wanted to let you know that we’re about to open up membership again for a new wave of guys to enter the group. If you are interested in that, then either go to the website and put your information in there to join the wait list or just shoot me an email directly and tell me, hey, why do you want to join front row dads or why are you interested in that and what questions do you have about it? I mean it’s pretty simple. These are committed men who jumped on the phone and have great conversations. There’s a private Facebook group for them and they get invited to our retreats.
[00:06:38] Jon Vroman: It’s a way for guys to create an environment where they can be held accountable and they can raise the bar for themselves. They can be held to a higher standard, so if that sounds good for you, then email me, firstname.lastname@example.org let me know you’re interested in the membership and I’ll let you know what the process is in order to get into that group. And lastly, guys, if the paid membership, it doesn’t sound like the step that you’re ready for right now at the bare minimum, go join the free open Facebook group. If you’re going to be on Facebook, then I would say look, if family is first, if that’s your highest priority, make sure you’re in some type of environment where those topics around fatherhood and being great husband are being brought to your attention. I mean, if you’re going to get interrupted and you’re going to get called down some rabbit hole, let it be one that serves you and your family. So we’d love to have you join into the Facebook group and join that conversation. So we’ll see you there guys. That’s it for today. Thank you so much for being part of this brotherhood. Let’s get into this conversation with my buddy Brian Mazza.
[00:07:46] Jon Vroman: Brian, welcome to Front Row Dads, man. Glad you’re here.
Brian Mazza: How you doing? Thanks buddy.
Jon Vroman: Dude. So I know you’re on the go. Where are you heading today?
[00:07:53] Brian Mazza: I uh, I had a bunch of meetings and workouts in New York today and uh, I’m actually heading back early to relieve my nanny so I can, uh, get with my son.
[00:08:07] Jon Vroman: Awesome man. And you’ve got one boy and one on the way. So, how old is Leo?
[00:08:13] Brian Mazza: Leo is about to be two years old this July. And then we have the new, the new little lion come in, um, in July as well.
[00:08:22] Jon Vroman: Do now you may or may or may not know this, but my nine year old’s name is Tiger. I do know that we love the name of Leo. Hey Brian. Hold on one second. Hey, what’s up buddy? Do you want to say hi to my friend? Hey Buddy.
[00:08:41] Brian Mazza: Hey Ocean. What’s going on?
[00:08:43] Jon Vroman: Brian says, what’s going on? What are you up to? No, no. Well, hey, Brian and I are going to have a chat. We’re going to talk about kids. Can I come see you in just a moment when I’m done? No.
[00:08:56] Jon Vroman: No. Hey, I would have said we should just keep chatting it up with, oh, but that might’ve never ended because my wife is apparently gone. My mother in law’s here. She lives with us about six months out of the year. That’s cool. Yeah. You know it’s interesting. I will talk about this for a quick second and go back to our kids and names and all that jazz, but you know about kids interrupting. Two things recently that brought this idea of like over the question of how will I respond when kids interrupt me. And one of them is that there was this guy who was, you might remember seeing this, he was on the news and maybe live on air and this kid walked into the room and he kind of stiff armed this kid. It was like he wasn’t an epic dad in that moment or so the reports would indicate, right.
[00:09:40] Jon Vroman: That’s how people talked about it. Like he had this opportunity to like show compassion and interest to his kid, but he was, it was more like, hey, this is my moment to shine and you’re interrupting him. That happened and that really brought the question to me of like, how do I respond when my kids interrupt me? And then the second one was one of our dads, one of our members had said that my kids are allowed to interrupt me, but only if, and then he paused and I thought, oh, it’s an emergency, whatever. And he said, no, only if they want a hug. And I thought that’s really profound and to think about like, when is it okay for your kids to interrupt you? And the idea of having your kids interrupt you or getting involved in your work is actually like, it’s one of our pillars of front row dads.
[00:10:23] Jon Vroman: It’s how to integrate life. So Dude, let me leave that to a question for you, which is how do you blend your professional and your personal world together? You’re going after it big right now in life and how’s all that working.
Brian Mazza: Well, you don’t have to really, really awesome question. And I get that question a lot. Um, with having multiple businesses and having a wife that, you know, an anchor on TV and she’s really, really busy. And how do we all make it work? And I think that the biggest question is for me, I have set the tone and I have set the rules up for myself on the type of dad that I want to be. And I want to have the ability to always have time and always have the autonomy to be with my children. Um, going forward now with my life.
[00:11:13] Brian Mazza: So I take proper measures with myself getting up at a certain time that I can handle all of my selfish personal work. So then therefore I’m up at 3:45 every morning. So I get a good three and a half hours of my own time before my kid gets up. So when it’s time for him to get up or for my time to be a dad and handle the mornings, which I do, I can have the undivided attention for him. So I think it’s important for dad. You know, I always hear these dads talk about they wake up when their kids cry or you know, they’re, they’re off now and that they’re, they’re cranky or they’re groggy. And I’m like, why don’t you just get up earlier than your kid? Yeah. And then set the tone for yourself. So like I have my, the bottles already already ready for Leo and he gets up, his breakfast is already done and prepared for him, you know, so he, I’m setting him up for success also.
[00:12:12] Jon Vroman: Yeah. Let’s get into the specifics of that. So let’s talk about what happens when you’re up. Like walk us through a routine for you. And I know there’s no typical day, but you know, of course. Sure. For argument’s sake and simplicity, what happens at 3:45?
Brian Mazza: Well, I think consistency is key in anything you want to do, right? If you want to lose weight, you’d have to be consistent with how you eat or how you work out. Do you want to do anything consistent? You have to be dialed in. So for me it starts with going to bed usually at a certain time and you know, things happen obviously. But getting up at a certain time and religiously and you know, Saturday and Sunday I treat the same as Monday and Tuesday. So I’m up at that time. And when I get up, I go downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee.
[00:12:55] Brian Mazza: I meditate for a good, you know, 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes where it’s no phone, just mean relaxing in the dark. Um, and then I just get to work, you know, I check my emails, I answer emails, I plan out my day, I plan out, you know, a couple of weeks in advance of what do I need to do and what do I want to accomplish. And you know, that I ended up getting lost in that. But it’s great because I get to just be really selfish in that moment and handle what I really need to do. And that has worked for me because I get majority of my stuff done before ever. Everywhere else in America is waking up. Yeah. It might be weird when people are seeing him house at 3:45, 3:50 in the morning, but it just works for me. And you know, I’ve been, when I helped some people and you know, help them reset and do all these things, I have them getting up at certain times just to be more productive and get their own stuff done because I see a lot of dads and I talked to a lot of dads and they feel like when they have children that everything is taken away from them.
[00:13:55] Brian Mazza: And I think that’s a really wrong approach to look at it. Um, obviously, but they feel that way because they feel, they feel like they can’t do anything. They feel like they can’t do what they want to do. You just, there’s time. You just have to figure it out.
Jon Vroman: So what time are you going to bed and how important is sleep to you? Is there a certain number of hours you’ve got to get or how do.
Brian Mazza: I go to bed between 8:39, uh, 9:00 PM I’m sleeping so people might think that’s crazy, but for me it works. Um, and I think nine o’clock is a good time for me to shut it down and not be on my phone. And I just really, you know, I’m up at 3:45 so whatever. How many hours is that? Seven. Seven hours. Seven and a half hours. 7.7.
Jon Vroman: And what about time to connect with your wife?
[00:14:37] Jon Vroman: How do you make sure that you’re getting time for the two of you?
Brian Mazza: So luckily our schedules are really flexible. We work a lot, but they’re super flexible. So, you know, we get home at around the same time during the day. Um, and that’s, you know, our time with Leo and our time together. So, you know, we always eat together. Um, and now it was something I was very, very big while I was growing up is that we always had a family dinner. My Dad was a school teacher, my mother was a hairdresser, but we always made time for each other to eat with my, my other siblings. Um, and now that, luckily in my career I have the autonomy to do that. It’s been a really, really special to all of us be together, us three every night and eating together. And I know that’s not realistic for every parent, every household than that, you know, just doesn’t make you the best dad that you could do that.
[00:15:26] Brian Mazza: But it’s really special in my opinion, that I have the ability to do that now.
Jon Vroman: I love that we took this track of your schedule, right? Because looking at your bio, I’m asking myself and even though I hang out with a bunch of high performing guys, I still sometimes look at what you do and go when, where even though I’ve been exposed to it for so long. So talk to us about when are you learning? Like where do you squeeze in reading or listening to podcasts or thinking time. I mean, I know you said in the morning, right? You’re checking emails, you’re planning your day, you alluded to it a little bit.
Brian Mazza : Yeah, for sure. Well, I’m, I’m always learning, right? That’s the beauty of it. That I’m surrounding myself with people throughout the day that are constantly challenging me. And I think that’s a really big important factor in personal growth is once you stop doing that, then you cannot grow anymore.
[00:16:19] Brian Mazza: And I’m not saying people stopped doing that because they think they know everything. I think people stopped doing that because they get complacent in their routines and in their situations, right? So I’m constantly seeking out new people to connect with. And the best way that works for me most of the time is through a workout. So I connect with people and then we train together. And when we trained together, that’s when we’re learning and I’m connecting and finding out what they’re doing. And you know, I also commute into New York City. I live in Westchester and I commute to New York City every day. So that alone time also on the train is when I’m listening to podcasts or if I’m reading a book or you know, just checking on things or people were sending me articles to read. So, you know, the constant learning and evolving and trying to find tune your crafts.
[00:17:04] Brian Mazza: Um, we’ll never end. It’s a constant 24, seven.
Jon Vroman: How long has your train road?
Brian Mazza: Uh, 30 minutes. So 30 minutes in 30 minutes. So that’s a really awesome time. And plus being married to someone who’s way smarter than me, um, and always challenging me. It’s really crazy. I wrote about this, I spoke about this in my Instagram the other day, is that my wife is constantly challenging me. So that’s keeping me on my toes. 24, seven. And having someone in journalism who was super bright, she’s always like, I feel like she’s a teacher to me sometimes because she’s always talking about things that are going on in the world. They’re talking about just current events and keeping me, you know, abreast of what’s going on from maybe something I didn’t pick up or I didn’t on. Um, so that’s why I’m super blessed to have someone in that field always constantly challenging me.
[00:17:55] Jon Vroman: Now, I know, you know Leo is young and number two is on the way, so you’re newer to the dad game, but when you are growing in that space and you’re learning things and people are giving you good information or good ideas, where are they coming from? Are you listening to specific shows or reading books or talking to other dads? Like how are you digging out that gold?
Brian Mazza: That’s an awesome question. You know, I lean on my dad for a lot of stuff and I talked to him a bunch and he’s a teacher, so he’s always given me a different opinion on different sides of things. Then, you know, I’m 34 years old and I’m a brand new dad, right? So it’d be kind of crazy for me to say I think I have it all figured out or this is how we do things.
[00:18:32] Brian Mazza: And I think the beauty of parenthood and the beauty of being a father is that you’re constantly learning and you’re, you’re learning things as you go. You’re learning, you know, things from how your kids act and how you need to adjust. So if it’s me, you know, checking out a podcast over to me, reading articles and my wife’s always sending me articles about being a dad and everything, you know, I, it’s just the Internet that always a good way for me to, to keep up to speed on, you know, different trends and things that are going on and just getting valuable information in that sense. But for me, no, I never compare myself to other parents and everybody could do their own thing with their kids and it might work for them and it might not work for them. But we stick to our routine and our plan where we think is best for Leo and they call the the new baby, the new guy because we don’t have a name yet and the new guy coming.
[00:19:22] Brian Mazza: But yeah, we, we stick to what we’re, we think we’re good at with our, with our child and we just go from there.
Jon Vroman: Man. It’s a cool journey and I’m uh, I’m excited to watch what happens for you in the years ahead.
Brian Mazza: I mean, you can get wrapped up, you can get wrapped up in and everything, right? If you’re giving it this way or that way or don’t get it, this food or that food, you know, you’re always constantly getting challenged in that sense. If you’re doing the right thing.
Jon Vroman: What do you think you’re doing right? And I know that’s a tough question cause it’s like in some ways you want to have this humility of there’s also, when we know we’re doing well, you’re like, oh, I know that’s a good move on my part that’s working.
Brian Mazza: For sure. I think the unconditional love and the constant in your face love is super important, especially at a young age to know that they are loved to know that they have security.
[00:20:08] Brian Mazza: And I think that’s the most important right now at his stage is to know that we had, that he knows that we have is back in that we love him because I think that builds a genuine kind kid. And for me that’s the most important. I just want him to be a kind boy. I want him to be very sweet and respectful. Um, and I think from there things fall into place. So I think that’s what we’re doing very well is the unconditional love. Um, I think he sees that I could be totally wrong, but he sees how I prepare for him. I think he knows the routine. I think he knows that I’m up earlier. I swear to God. I think he does. Um, I actually, I feel like he’s thankful for what we do for him because he’s a very, very good kid.
[00:20:54] Brian Mazza: He’s very loving. He’s constantly hugging, constantly giving my life kisses and me kisses. Um, and I know all kids do that, but I, I feel like he’s very genuine about it and I think he knows that he’s really loved.
Jon Vroman: It’s interesting that you said kindness is to, you know, what type of child that you hope to raise. Why kindness? Why is that the value that you went to there?
Brian Mazza: Because I think everyone in this world, it needs to be a bit kinder to each other. And I think when he, he’s growing up and he’s in school and he’s there, I want him to be very kind to people. I want him to treat everyone with respect, treat everybody equally, not judge. And I know it’s very difficult in this world, but I want him to have that foundation that how we act towards people or I act towards people and he sees that I’m always saying hello to people.
[00:21:43] Brian Mazza: How are you? I think that’s very kind. And I think by acting that way you can change someone’s day and being kind to them could, you know, put a smile on their face. And I want him to really be that type of kid.
Jon Vroman: And where do you think that came from for you? Is that because either you got rewarded for that kindness or maybe because people weren’t so kind to you at some point?
Brian Mazza: I honestly think just watching my dad, how he interacts with people and how my dad has affected so many people in a positive way. Um, you know, my dad treated everybody equally. The janitor or the CEO, you know, that, that cliches that saying my dad was always very, very nice and respectful to people. Um, and I spent a ton of time with my dad as a child, so I was always very aware and it was, you know, always just saw it, you know.
[00:22:32] Brian Mazza: What do you think you’re doing great in your marriage to also question? Um, I think lately, you know, I have taken more steps and being more self aware of myself in my marriage. And you know, there’s times where you can get wrapped up in your business and your phone and what’s going on and everything. And I, and I have made a very, very, uh, strong decision in my life to pay more attention, you know, with kids. And everything. It’s so easy just to put your kids always first. Right? But you know, I, I’ve made strong steps to really do some extra for my wife and to let her know that first of all, what women are doing, having kids and producing kids is fucking crazy job. So fucking nuts, right? So I see my wife getting up super early, commuting to the train, then she has to get on another subway, then another subway, and then she has a crazy packed day. And I think sometimes I took that for granted in the, in the beginning. Um, and I’m just like, yeah, I get it. Like you’re tired. Like, well let’s keep going. Then. I think this pregnancy the second time around has made me realize how much more bad ass and stronger that they are and I need to slow my roll down a little bit and be a little bit more from passion, passionate to her. Um, and I, I think I’ve been doing a very good job of that.
[00:23:55] Jon Vroman: Look, you guys want to take a second to tell you about our Front Row Dads retreat? If you would value connecting with a brotherhood of likeminded and lighthearted guys who want to deepen their sense of purpose and meaning as fathers and within their families and to talk about and share the best practices and the strategies for ultimate family success than this event might be for you. If you add value being around high performing guys without the big egos, guys that believe in being family, men with businesses and not businessmen with families, you might enjoy our front row dads retreat twice a year. We’re getting together in person, small groups, cool locations, guest experts and so much more for these events. We’ve now done this multiple times. It has sold out every single time and if you’re excited about it, make sure to check it out at frontrowdads.com where you can apply for the next retreat.
[00:24:45] Jon Vroman: Now, hey, one of the things you might be wondering is, does leaving my family make me a better dad or husband? The answer is for many of you, I know you travel a bunch, you do other things and the idea for this one is you have to retreat to advance. You have to take a step back to gain the perspective so that we can go back and crush it within our families. This is the same concept that works in business where you take a moment, you think, you plan, you strategize, you work on your family so that you can be better in your family. If that all sounds good, check it out frontrowdads.com
[00:25:16] Jon Vroman: Now with the schedule as busy as yours, and I know you said when you get home in the afternoon, you’ve got so time to connect and then you’re in bed pretty early. How about the, and you can open up as much as you want on this go, but like this is a real topic for a lot of guys is like the intimate part of their relationship, right? Bedroom time, you know, and make sure that you’re not just cooking together. Oh that could be wonderful or whatever. Kind of doing house stuff together. But like when are you deeply connecting?
Brian Mazza: Yeah, you know we try and go to bed early. We’re trying to get him to bed early before we fall asleep. Getting clarification. All right. So obviously as the pregnancy gets deep, you get deeper into the pregnancy. The intimacy is a little bit more difficult just for many different reasons.
[00:26:00] Brian Mazza: We all know, um, um, but we have tried to, you know, become more intimate and put a strong emphasis on that. My wife probably wants me to be more intimate and I’m not no nervous or shy to say that. And you know, you have to sometimes, you know, take a step back and say, okay, wow, this is what she wants or this is what he wants in the, in your marriage and you need to, you know, act on that for your partner. So, you know, if it’s showering together or just, you know, trying to put an emphasis on doing that. You know, W we, we try to do that now. We, we’ve had two kids through IVF and that was a big journey in itself. So, you know, that’s where it became really difficult and the intimacy was, was really rough. I felt like I was in a man so I couldn’t get my wife pregnant cause of my issues.
[00:26:49] Brian Mazza: Luckily we IVF in medicine and science is the best thing ever. So it was very difficult for me to like really want to continue to do it. Um, because I was failing constantly.
Jon Vroman: How did you get through that mentally?
Brian Mazza: They always fucking brutal man. Like, you know, I didn’t feel like a man. I felt like I was letting her down and I wanted to be a father so bad and she wanted to be a mother so bad and I just felt, I felt, I felt like a fucking loser to be honest with you. I’m stressed me out and I think my fitness aspect of it really has kept me in line and kept me together cause I needed an outlet to let out my emotions and an outlet to let out everything that was bothering me. You know, there’s nothing worse in the world and when you feel like you’re letting someone down, um, and that’s how it happened.
[00:27:34] Brian Mazza: But luckily we had a fucking stud of a doctor and we, you know, we’re two for two, which is great, but it was a very rough time for me and I probably didn’t show it a lot, but I was very defeated. Very, very defeated.
Jon Vroman: Did you have good support around you? But he’s, you said you had a great doctor, but how about other people?
Brian Mazza: You know, in the beginning I didn’t tell anyone and the beginning I kept it kind of private for us, maybe because I was embarrassed by it and then a little shy about it. But then one day my wife and I were just talking and I was like, fuck it, I’m going to open up about it because I have a platform where I’m sure a bunch of other guys are feeling the same way. And once I opened up about it, the amount of messages that I got and the amount of phone calls I got and text messages and dude, I’m going through the same thing.
[00:28:17] Brian Mazza: Oh my God, what the fuck? It sucks. I felt like, oh, like the weight was lifted off my shoulders because I could talk about it and not feel ashamed about it because then when I looked down and I see Leo, whatever, I had to do what I had to do to get him right. So I didn’t really, at the end of the day, now I don’t really care. Um, but yeah, it was, um, the support ended up pouring in and now I’m able to help people and help guys with this journey.
Jon Vroman: When you shared about it and other guys started commenting, was there anything about those comments that you found interesting or is it just yep. I know exactly how that guy feels or was there parts of it where like, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t see that coming. I didn’t, that’s shocking to me.
Brian Mazza: Whenever it was reaching out to me and telling me their journey, it was, it was very interesting to see how similar we all are as humans.
[00:29:07] Brian Mazza: Right. Everyone, they were, every guy was kind of feeling the same emotions. Like God, you know, I’m a sue, I’m a super successful businessman and I, everything I do, I do really well, but I can’t now this like what is going on? And I think it’s being uncertain and unsure and just feeling defeated. Every comment was coming up like that, that they just felt worthless in a way. Yeah. So it made me feel a little bit better than other people were feeling that way. And I know that it definitely made me feel better that they, they were able to open up about it and they were thanking me that you no, no, no guys really talk about this. Yep. And that’s what the crazy part was. There’s no, like I felt like we had, we built a fraternity.
Jon Vroman: And this is all through your Instagram platform?
[00: 29:53] Brian Mazza: Yes. All through my Instagram platform. So people magazine covered the um, the reveal all of our baby where I kicked the soccer ball and it turned blue and people magazine covered it cause cause of my wife and everything and in her IVF journey. So when CNN asked me to come on to speak about it, I was a little hesitant at first when I said, you know what, I’m going to do it. And um, let me, CNN covered it. That’s when people really started seeing everything. And Tom, no.
Jon Vroman: Let’s talk about your social for a moment and I want to talk about how this relates to your family life. Just to set the stage, and I probably would have mentioned this before, but your Instagram account has over 100,000 followers. So a couple of things as it relates to your family. And we have quite a few influencers in the Front Row Dads community as well.
[00:30:35] Jon Vroman: How do you determine what you do and don’t share with a platform that big?
Brian Mazza: Yeah, I pretty much share everything, um, on my platform and everything. I use social media strictly for an accountability tool. That’s how it started for me. I used it as an accountability tool for myself. So if I said, if I’m going to preach about this, this, and this and how I live my life, I really need to live in this way. And I do. Um, then you end up getting sponsors and ads and all these things that come along with it. Um, but I put out what I want people to see. I talk about the hard times. I talked about the good times. I talk about deals I have, I talk about what I want to do. I talk about my insecurity that talk about a bunch of stuff. So I don’t really hide anything which a lot of people do and that’s totally fine.
[00:31:22] Brian Mazza: But for me, I just, I don’t plan my Instagram. I every morning I wake up, I don’t, I sound like I have a script that I go by. Um, it’s on the fly always. Um, and I wanted to keep a really organic that way.
Jon Vroman: Are there any security concerns when you started? Yeah. What you show?
Brian Mazza: That’s a really good question. And we’ve spoken about that a ton since my wife is a public figure also way more than me. Um, you know, some of the times, some of the article she writes, her stories she covers, she gets a lot of heat from it. So we definitely have that concern. And you’re are definitely aware of what is going on. And um, yes, that’s a, that is definitely something on the top of our minds.
Jon Vroman: Anything that guys should be thinking about questions they should be asking themselves or resources to go learn about.
[00:32:08] Jon Vroman: Hey, I know not everybody’s a public figure. Right. But you know, is there anything that we can inform them about that might protect them? I don’t even know what that would be. I don’t even know how to lead that question any better cause yeah, no, I mean [Inaudiable].
Brian Mazza: We could find anyone’s address. Right. That’s pretty fun. It’s pretty easy to do that. But I would just be very conscious of what you’re geotagging or what you’re saying and what you’re doing just because people are following and people you know, are crazy out there. Um, you know, a lot of times I also post something that didn’t just happen that day or have a golf course, a Google picture two weeks ago. I’m going to post about it. Um, so it’s always good to switch it up, but just to be conscious of where you’re tagging and where your geotagging.
[00:32:50] Jon Vroman: Yeah. And how do you manage social in your relationship with your wife? Do you guys have any rules around that? Like, hey, we don’t bring our phones to the bedroom or anything after seven, shut it down. Like how do you guys deal with that?
Brian Mazza: Um, we actually have no rules on that. Um, I’m sure she wish I was off my phone more. Um, but yeah, you know, listen, my job is kind of crazy. So a bunch of people reaching out to me, male or female, and I’m always answering DMs and um, the trust is there between us. So there’s nothing, you know, I, she can go through my DMs and everything. The trust is there. So we tend to try to get off her phone, you know, at least 30 minutes or 40 minutes before we knock out in bed. Um, but the phones are a way of life and it’s a way of business as well.
[00: 33:37] Brian Mazza: So they need, they need to be in the bedroom and plus for her to like a breaking story or something, you know, she has to be able to have access to them.
Jon Vroman: Yeah. Anything you’re struggling with right now that you want answers to, you know, anything that like on the dad, family, marriage that you’re seeking out answers to yourself?
Brian Mazza: I’m constantly seeking how to be a better husband and a better father. And, and I don’t know if that means many different things. Is it spending more time? Is it spending more efficient time? You know, a lot of parents can just be there and be on their phone. That doesn’t mean spending time. So, you know, I’m in a weird place now with my career and everything too with, you know, starting a new company and jumping around and doing all these different things that I’m involved in.
[00:34:20] Brian Mazza: So I’m just kind of figuring it out and I think everything will fall into place hopefully. Um, but seeking anything in fatherhood, you know, I, you know, I’m really curious to see how things are going to be when, you know, I talked to a lot of dads is totally different with two children as it or I get a bunch of feedback now it’s not totally different to, it’s totally different too. It’s not really totally different with three kids. Um, so I’m very, very curious to see how different the dynamic will be when the new kid comes in. Right? Like I’m only used to paying more attention to 100% to Leo. How do you split that up? I always thought in my head, how the hell am I going to love anything more than Leo or if anything else than Leo, right? Like as a dad and obviously I know I will have had the same amount of love, but I’m just used to giving real me.
[00:35:12] Jon Vroman: Yeah, exactly. That’s all good stuff man. Well these are good questions to be in pursuit of. I think that’s awesome man. And I love what you’re building. I think it’s really cool. And Hey, two final questions then we can wrap. One is how do you pick the name of your second child on the way?
Brian Mazza: Well, this is like the beef in the household right now. So I want it to be my favorite soccer player of all time, but my wife is like stiff arming needs in the face. No. Um, and I have two names that I really like and we just cannot agree. So I don’t know where we’re going to do. Maybe we’ll just name them, no name.
[00: 35:48] Jon Vroman: And we were talking with somebody one time and yeah, what’s interesting is Tiger with seems like the obvious second choice was Leo for number two. We loved that name just so you know, that’s such a cool name.
Brian Mazza: So that was my grandfather’s name and then I, we just thought it was fitting to just rock and roll with that.
Jon Vroman: Yeah. And the lions pretty significant for you too, right?
Brian Mazza: Yeah. So I have a great lion tattoo on me and the lion tattoos of my logo, my high performance lifestyle training company. So it’s a, I feel like the lion is just always around.
Jon Vroman: It’s cool. Let’s talk about that real quick. I know that there’s a lot of guys listening who might be interested in what you have coming up and I just learned about it, which is really cool and you’ve got a pretty bad ass dude coming to speak at that event.
[00:36:29] Jon Vroman: Talk to us a little bit about what you’ve got next month.
Brian Mazza: So May 17th through the 19th. I’m hosting my very first high performance lifestyle training retreat and our keynote speakers, David Goggins. Um, if you guys do know of him, you totally get why I picked him. If you don’t know, and I suggest you start googling and researching the audio book, Can’t Hurt Me. Get the audio book Can’t Hurt Me. And um, you will understand why. It’s a three day retreat. It’s only for 30 people speaking series is for 250 people, but we’re just doing a ton of high performance lifestyle training stuff. So it’s, you know, we rented out the Empire State Building for morning meditation and Yoga every morning at 5:00 AM. Then there’s a bunch of workouts and high performance coaches. Um, there’s a big run that we’re doing as a group and I just want to give people an insight, access to how I live my life and how I think a high performer is.
[00:37:22] Brian Mazza: Um, and you know, the ethos of the company and the reason why I started this is that everyone in this world is a high performer. The ones that know it are doing it and the ones that don’t mind mission is to bring it out of them and there’s nothing better that I’ve had six to eight. Just seeing and doing this for a couple people in my journey and having the ability to impact them in a positive way and seeing them transform themselves mentally and physically. It is such a great reward. Um, and that is the mission of our company and that is what we’re doing in our first retreat is in New York City, May 17th through the 19th.
Jon Vroman: That is awesome man. I’m so happy for you. David is just such a great choice and I loved the mission of, of what you’re doing and guys, I hope you get a chance to check it out.
[00:38:05] Jon Vroman: You know, I think back to my, the most pivotal times in my life. The times where I transformed the most and it almost always it was in relation to some type of an event like that. Whether I was at a Tony Robbins event, whenever I worked with a company for a lot of years who hosted events. Every time I took a step away from my life, when I retreated, when I sharpen the ax, when I got time to think, when I broke the pattern, when I got into a new city, I just, that breathing, that space really elevated my life. It was a catapult. And um, yeah, I think it’s just so great man. It’s just such a, everybody needs to have some type of an event or two in their life every year that they’re going to surround themselves with new people and gets them focused on.
Brian Mazza: Yeah. And you know, and a lot of these dads, and a lot of these are business professionals that I interact with in me, um, you know, and they say, hey, let’s meet for dinner or let’s meet for lunch. I said, no, let’s meet at the gym.
[00:38:58] Brian Mazza: And I usually put them through my workout and so grueling for them and it’s like, wow, this is what you do every day. Once they jump on that wagon, I’m telling you there is no fucking looking back for them. They become the savage dead.
Jon Vroman: Yeah. Yeah. Guys, that is such gold right there. I mean, right here in the final minutes of the show, that’s such gold that this idea of getting a lot of your meetings and your social time while you’re doing physical activity, like you just said, you know, you want to meet and meet you in the sauna, then cold plunge, let’s meet for a walk. Let’s meet for a jog and do it. I try.
Brian Mazza: I really try not to do dinners or stuff. Do you want to meet me? Just go for a 5K. Yeah, that’s right. Yeah. That’s it.
[00:39:38] Jon Vroman: That’s it. Yeah. It definitely puts a book end on the meeting too.
Brian Mazza: I think it’s also, here’s the advice. When they see you do that, they’re like, Holy Shit, this person is about it and then I want to work with you.
Jon Vroman: Yeah. It’s a much better deal.
Brian Mazza: I thank you so much, man. What you’re doing is fucking super special and it’s been a great journey. I’m so happy. I got introduced to you and keep fucking killing it.
Jon Vroman: Thanks Brian. I appreciate it man. Good to get to know you buddy. And where can people go find you?
Brian Mazza: You can find me on Instagram at Brian Mazza and you know, I’ll send you the link to put up for the retreat if you, if anybody wants to come.
Jon Vroman: Yeah, 100% that’s great man. Really appreciate it. Thanks for being on the show today, Bryan.
Brian Mazza: Thank you so much.
[00:40:14] Jon Vroman: Hey guys, if you haven’t already done so, go right now to frontrowdads.com/facebook and join the conversation that’s happening right now on line. We designed this group for guys who are entrepreneurial in their thinking that are high performing guys with low egos. We’re looking for the dads that believe in teaching their kids how to think, solve problems and be real leaders. We’re looking for guys who believe in being family, men with businesses, not businessmen with families. We’re looking for the fathers who have great knowledge but also believed that they have so much more to learn and we’re looking for men who want to add value by sharing their wisdom and those that are willing to ask the questions that we all need and want answers to. That’s frontrowdads.com/facebook or simply go to Facebook, type in front row dads and you’ll get to our group and what we put in there, links to all the podcasts and videos and other resources that you can’t get access to anywhere else except for in this group. We want to give you the best ideas to help you with your marriage, balancing work and family life communication strategies with your spouse and also your children, travel ideas and even suggestions on the latest gear that would save you time and help you be more effective. We’ve got updates on upcoming events and so much more. Go right now to frontrowdads.com/facebook and join the conversation. I’ll look forward to connecting with you there.[END]