Q&A with Jon Vroman and Jon Berghoff
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In this show, Jon Berghoff interviews Jon Vroman in front of a live audience at GoBundance.com event in Austin, TX 2019.
A few things you’ll hear about…
- How transparent should we be with our kids?
- The affirmation that saved Jon’s marriage (posted below)
- How to cultivate excitement and passion with your spouse
- Having amazing conversations with kids
- What stories impact your family the most
- Where and when do kids want you to push harder
- When to push forward, and when to back off with your wife and kids
Jon’s affirmation:
- Today I choose to completely accept and love Tatyana exactly as she is, in every moment.
- I do not need her permission or participation to treat her with love and respect.
- In any given moment, I choose to FEEL Tatyana while remaining FREE of her.
- I can be happy with or without her — and I’m choosing to be happy with her.
- Today I will focus on my own journey of growth — not trying to control hers.
- I take confident action in pursuit of love and peace.
- I am always in control of my next move.
- I am the decisive factor.
- I have the ability to escalate or escalate any situation.
- How I act, speak and “feel” to her, and when I speak, is often more important that what I say.
- I see, hear and feel within me, around me — with total clarity.
- I know who I am, what I want and what I’m willing to give.
- She cannot make me mad. She can simply offer a magnifying glass into some part of my heart that needs to be healed or helped.
- If I’m frustrated, angry or feeling any negative emotions, I have options to either change the situation or my mind. I own my experience.
- In the most difficult moments of our relationship, I can show our kids how to treat others when during difficult times.
- When Tatyana finds the fullest expression of herself — she’s ultimately happier.
- When she feels good, all her relationships are better, especially with our kids.
- Remember that Tatyana is trying to find her own personal happiness, not diminish mine.
- I have needs and standards as a human and husband. I should feel confident expressing them in my relationship — calmly.
- People don’t change until they choose to, and often things have to get worse, before they get better
- I have a forever commitment to Tatyana and helping her uncover and discover her best self.
- I am here to help heal her, not hurt her
- I forgive her for everything In the past
- I forgive her for anything in the future
- My goal is to create a safe place for her to open up fully and share her heart.
- Tatyana is my wife, and not my therapist, doctor, or financial advisor. I am here to be strong for her, not dump my problems on her.
- If I understand her heart, I’m more likely to succeed at explaining mine
- I can still give my all to Tatyana even when I’m confused or upset
- She is not responsible for my happiness, or my self worth
- She is not supposed to play every role in my life and I’m not supposed to play every role in hers.
- She doesn’t owe me anything
- Ive never walked a day in her shoes, so I choose to remain compassionate.
- I cannot control her. I can support, love and encourage her.
- I am not her coach.
- I don’t give advice, I listen and remain empathetic.
- If I’m tempted to give advice, I can ask, “Do you want me to fix it, or feel it?”
- When entering a conversation, I remain curious not critical, and free from frustration.
- I am unshakable.
- I don’t react emotionally, I respond mindfully.
- I am cool, calm, and collected
- I am kind and confident.
- I am courageous, adventurous decisive and ready for any challenge.
- I am honest, faithful, trustworthy, grounded, strong and loving.
- I can feel her energy and I know when it’s time to give her space.
- I will not attempt to analyze and understand Tatyana, thereby limiting her to the constraints of my mind.
- She and I see the world differently, and that can create positive polarity.
- Differences bring about new insights which enlighten and elevate, our relationship and our family.
- What I loved about her in the beginning is often what drives me crazy today — I own and embrace that.
- When she puts up a wall, I stay present.
- When she’s triggered, my #1 goal is to help heal her heart. People in pain don’t want to be helped, they want to be heard.
- I will support her quest to put find her true self and claim her best life.
- Tatyana is a soul that needs independence and freedom.
- I will not let any personal insecurity, jealously or limiting beliefs get in the way of love and connection.
- I will trust in the moment and the future it creates.
- I know that whatever Tatyana does is perfect, because to resist what IS, is to suffer. Everything happens for the reason I choose.
- Whatever is happening is likely a phase — wait long enough and it will change.
- Marriage is a marathon. It requires endurance, patience, focus and strength.
- I will lift her up, make her laugh and love her silly.
- When her wild side shows up, I will embrace it. When I embrace her, she’ll trust me and when she trusts me, she’ll open to me, and when she opens to me, this is the start of something good.
- Tatyana challenges me and I love a good challenge.
- At times, it may help the situation To bring out my “dark side” with love, respect and care
- I focus on what’s right, where she rocks and why she’s unique.
- I build her up, and never tear her down.
- I always speak highly of her in front of others
- She is the mother of our boys and is essential in fulfilling my primary purpose as a husband and father.
- I love that she’s a free spirit
- I love that she’s resilient
- I love that she’s fun
- I love that she’s adventurous
- I love that she meets my need for variety
- I love that she loves our boys
- I love that she gives me space to be myself, to learn and grow
- I love that she keeps us healthy
- I love her bold, independent and fun personality.
- I am a strong leader with masculine energy and I will show up for her and others powerfully, centered and ready to serve.
- Today I will be playful, present and on purpose.
- Remember who YOU are Jon, and who YOU need to be so your true self can kick ass and serve people.
- Our relationship is forever changing, evolving, and growing. This is a good thing.
- Tatyana can evoke deep feelings and her expansiveness makes me feel alive.
- I give Tatyana my absolute in every moment, because it’s simply how I should act with anyone, at anytime under any circumstance.
- If today were my last day, I will know with 100% certainty that I gave her, me and my family, my absolute best.
