Saying No To Kids, Integrating Your Past, The Pain of Living in the Future & Unhiding Yourself with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

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Gentlemen, I am absolutely pumped to welcome Dr. Kelly Flanagan back to the show. He is many things to many people, and he’s a legendary member of our brotherhood.

Kelly has a new book coming out this week titled, The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell, and I can’t wait to dig into it. I hope you’ll check it out too.

One topic that we’ve discussed many times over the years on the podcast and our Online Summits is how we can all be better at being vulnerable with our friends and especially our family.

And we really unpacked that in this conversation as we talked about how we all have a tendency to hide ourselves and our truest thoughts to avoid feeling shame.

It’s natural to want to hide our crap, our secrets, and the things that we don’t like about ourselves. But doing that doesn’t promote and create connection. And when we unhide ourselves, there’s freedom to be found there.

Kelly shares a fantastic story of someone who gave an advance copy of his new book to their friend’s 95-year-old mom. And after reading it, her mom shared some things with her daughter that she had never talked about before. So it’s not just freedom but healing that can be found when we unhide ourselves.

We covered a lot of ground in this conversation. We talked about the importance of facing your past to improve your present, the challenge of saying no to our kids, and how love isn’t always about being in agreement with each other, but being able to hold space for disagreement as well. So much good stuff there.

One more thing: If you purchase Kelly’s book (and I highly recommend that you do) please leave a review on Amazon. Even if you’re only two chapters into it, you can still share your thoughts before you finish the book. It helps so much in spreading the word, and reviews help us too.

So here’s my gift to you: If you leave an honest review of this show, take a screenshot of it and send it to with your address. I will send a free copy of the book to the first 5 people. (US Residents only)

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Our next Online Summit is on November 10th from 12pm-3:30 ET where we’ll be focusing on the Emotional Intelligence Pillar and our nervous system. You’ll learn how to stay cool, calm and collected in those moments that you feel triggered.

And our Inaugural FRD Live Summit is happening from Dec. 2nd-4th here in Austin, Texas. That’s right. It’s LIVE and in person! Capacity is limited, so sign up at to book your spot today!

Kelly Flanagan Podcast Highlights

  • How to stop hiding your authentic self and learn how to fully express yourself with your kids, spouse, friends and family in a healthy way.
  • The importance of welcoming, and accepting, all the parts of your personality and every role you play in interpersonal relationships.
  • Why entrepreneurs are future-focused and often fail to face the past, and how that harms them in the long run.
  • Fully revealing and unhiding yourself isn’t always sharing ourselves with others, sometimes it’s actually about helping ourselves and our own confidence.
  • True love isn’t always about being in agreement with each other, love is being able to hold space for disagreement.
“You can’t let go of your past, but you can learn how to dialog with it.” - @DrKellyFlanagan Share on X “Love is not just being in agreement, love is being able to hold space for disagreement.” - @DrKellyFlanagan Share on X “The past is behind us, but it is also always within us.” - @DrKellyFlanagan Share on X “If we ever have an urge to hide who we are or something that we are doing, we can be confident that shame is afoot.” - @DrKellyFlanagan Share on X “There are midlife moments where, if you’re fortunate, you’ve got most of what you want, but it doesn’t quite leave you satisfied. You could either turn that moment into a midlife crisis or an awakening.” - @DrKellyFlanagan Share on X

Kelly Flanagan Links & Other Resources

Kelly Flanagan Bio

Kelly Flanagan

Dr. Kelly Flanagan is an author, speaker, personal growth and relationship consultant, and licensed clinical psychologist who enjoys walking with people through the three essentials of a truly satisfying life—worthiness, belonging, and purpose.

Kelly has been blogging regularly about those three essentials for more than a decade at, and his back catalog of posts is an excellent resource for anyone interested in personal and relationship growth.

His writing has also been featured in READER’S DIGEST, HUFFINGTON POST, and THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES, and he has appeared on the TODAY Show with his daughter.

Kelly is the author of two non-fiction books, LOVEABLE and TRUE COMPANIONS. Both books debuted as the #1 New Release in Interpersonal Relations on Amazon. His first novel, THE UNHIDING OF ELIJAH CAMPBELL, will be released on October 18, 2022.

Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly—because they decided to make life more complicated than it already is—and they have three children who are eighteen, fourteen, and twelve years old. They live in a small town outside of Chicago.

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