How to Win the Marriage Game Without Keeping Score with Nate Klemp

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We’ve all heard of the mythical 100/100 marriage before — one where both partners give 100% at all times, and everything’s always great.

But let’s take a step back and get real for a second: How often do you feel like you’re able to give 100%? How often do you feel like you’re getting 100%? If you’ve ever argued about who is (or isn’t) giving enough, did it feel like you were going around in circles while nothing improved?

With that in mind, I’d like to ask you one more question: what if the magic number isn’t 100%?

Nate Klemp — PhD, bestselling author, and founding partner at Mindful, wants you to stop thinking in terms of 100/100. In his new book, The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship, he and his wife Kaley pinpoint exactly what doesn’t work in modern marriage. They share incredible stories from their own lives and others, as well as practical, powerful solutions designed to transform your relationship and deepen your connection.

In our conversation, Nate and I are talking about why even mindfulness junkies can get triggered, why scorekeeping and fairness suck, and how you can break out of unhealthy loops once and for all to transform your marriage for the better.

Also, as a thank you for listening, I want to gift a copy of Nate’s book to you! All I ask is that you write an honest review of the podcast on Apple. Be sure to mention the Nate Klemp episode in your review, take a screenshot, and email it to and I’ll mail you a copy of the book.

Nate Klemp’s Podcast Highlights

  • Why do we still lose our sh*t, even after spending so much time on breathwork, meditation, exercise, and everything else that’s supposed to help us stay in check? 
  • How do our kids show us everything that we need to be working on as parents?  
  • Why is it so easy to fall into fights about what is and isn’t fair in relationships–especially when we have kids?
  • The three core components of an 80/80 marriage.
  • The contagious qualities of radical fairness and behaving out of character.
  • Why doesn’t 100/100 (or 50/50) work in a relationship? 
  • Why is it possible to lose who we are when we try to be generous? 
  • Why people think an 80/80 marriage is harder than it actually is–and how leveling up your relationship can take as little as 20 seconds a day. 
  • Is there anything we can do to make the 50/50 mindset go away?
  • What couples actively living the 80/80 lifestyle are doing right now.
  • How do we tap into the inherent love and generosity available to us? 
  • What happens when we become too calm and collected? 
  • How to incorporate breathwork into your daily practice. 
“We’re really bad at assessing what is and what isn’t fair, specially in marriage” - Nate Klemp Click To Tweet “Mindset is contagious.” - Nate Klemp Click To Tweet

Nate Klemp’s Links & Other Resources

What is The 80/80 Marriage?

Nate Klemp’s Bio

Nate Klemp

Nate is a writer, philosopher, entrepreneur and co-author of the New York Times Bestseller Start Here: Master the Lifelong Habit of Wellbeing.

His latest book, co-authored with his wife Kaley is The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.

Nate is also a founding partner at Mindful, one of the world’s largest mindfulness media and training companies. He also holds a B.A. and M.A. in philosophy from Stanford University and a PhD from Princeton University.

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Disclaimer: The transcription you’re about to read was produced digitally. It’s 95% accurate, however at times, the system interprets words incorrectly. 275 – The Benefits of 80-80 Marriages How to Win the Marriage Game Without Keeping Score with Nate Klemp [/read]

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