Dan Martell on Buying Back Your Time, and the Years He Can’t Buy Back
Dan Martell wrote a book about buying back your time. He is also the man who spent his teenage years in foster homes, in addiction, and in jail, and he will tell you the years he actually wants back are not the ones the book is about.
He sat down with Jon Vroman for a conversation that starts with the business and does not stay there.
What is Buy Back Your Time about?
The book’s argument is that entrepreneurs get trapped doing work they should have handed off, and that the way out is to hire deliberately against the tasks draining your calendar rather than waiting until you are already underwater. Dan built and exited multiple companies running that idea.
What the book does not cover is where the drive came from.
From foster care to a rehab computer lab
Dan grew up with an alcoholic mother and a father who travelled for work. He was diagnosed with ADHD at 11, placed in foster care over his anger, and turned to drugs after his parents divorced. By 17 he was in rehab.
Cleaning out a camp during that stay, he found a yellow book on Java programming, started reading, and typed hello world into an old computer. That was the turn.
“I just felt like somebody must have been looking out for me because I wasn’t supposed to be there. I didn’t think I’d make it.”
He is direct about why he tells it:
“It’s not about the thing that happened, it’s how we felt. You don’t have to go through addiction. You don’t have to go through getting incarcerated to feel lonely, to feel no self-worth.”
Why he refuses to do anything for his kids
“If anything, my job as a dad and my wife as a mother, is to just not do shit for my kids.”
He means it literally, including at preschool drop-off with other parents watching:
“I’ve never picked up my kids’ backpacks and packed it for them or helped them with their jacket or their shoes. I will sit there for 35 f-fn minutes. I refuse to do it.”
The line he holds is between doing it for them and leaving them alone with it:
“We’re going to do this together. I’m not going to do it for you, but I’m going to teach you how to do it.”
The systems he runs on his family
Dan applies business structure to his household on purpose. Two of them come up in the conversation.
Two CEOs. One partner is CEO of the family unit, meaning kids, household and logistics. The other is CEO of the relationship, meaning date nights, intimacy, couple retreats and planning. Each role has a clear owner so neither job quietly becomes nobody’s.
The weekly sync. Thirty minutes at the same time every week. They score themselves out of five against the roles they have each taken on, which surfaces drift before it becomes distance.
“It allows us to never get too far apart before we fix it.”
The 45-minute fight rule
“If we fight for more than 45 minutes, it’s a default schedule a session with the therapist.”
The inconvenience is the point. Booking the session costs more than resolving the argument, so the rule pushes them toward resolution without either of them having to back down first.
Questions about Dan Martell
What is Buy Back Your Time about?
Dan Martell’s book argues that entrepreneurs stay stuck doing low-value work they should have delegated, and that the fix is hiring deliberately against the tasks consuming your calendar rather than waiting until you burn out. Dan built and exited multiple software companies applying it.
Is Dan Martell legit?
Yes. He went from foster care, addiction and incarceration as a teenager to founding and exiting multiple technology companies, and now coaches other founders. He talks openly about the parts of that history most people would leave out, including rehab at 17.
What is Dan Martell’s story?
He grew up with an alcoholic mother and a largely absent father, was diagnosed with ADHD at 11, went into foster care over anger issues, and turned to drugs after his parents divorced. In rehab at 17 he found a book on Java programming, taught himself to code, and built a career from there.
What are the two CEOs of a family?
Dan’s framework gives each partner a defined role. One is CEO of the family unit, covering kids, household and logistics. The other is CEO of the relationship, covering date nights, intimacy and couple retreats. Clear ownership stops either area becoming nobody’s responsibility.
What is the 45-minute fight rule?
If a disagreement runs longer than 45 minutes, it automatically triggers scheduling a therapy session. The hassle of booking acts as a forcing function, pushing both people toward resolving it sooner.
Why won’t Dan Martell help his kids with their shoes?
He believes a parent’s job is to teach rather than to do. He has never packed his children’s backpacks or put on their shoes, and will wait through the frustration rather than take the task from them, because the struggle is where the capability comes from.
“Allow the world to be hard on your kids. Let the world do what it needs to do, and let them live with that.” - @danmartell Share on XDan Martell Links & Other Resources
- BuyBackYourTime.com
- DanMartell.com
- The SaaS Academy
- Follow Dan Martell on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter
- Get Free Gifts for Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martell
- The E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber
- Elon Musk
- Steve Jobs
- Oprah Winfrey
- Todd Herman
- Getting Things Done by David Allen
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Dan Martell Bio
Dan Martell is award-winning Canadian entrepreneur, investor, thought leader, best-selling author, and coach to over 1000+ SaaS founders, including clients like ClickFunnels, Proposify, and Carrot.
He founded, scaled, and successfully exited three technology companies within 10 years. In 2012 he was named Canada’s top angel investor, having invested in more than 50 start-up companies, such as Intercom, Udemy, and Unbounce.
In 2016, Dan founded the SaaS Academy which went on to become one of the largest coaching companies in the world.
He’s also an Ironman athlete, philanthropist, husband, and father of two incredible boys.
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