Trauma, Transformation, & Family Rules with Tucker Max
Tucker Max is a great husband and father, and an excellent entrepreneur. He is the co-founder of Scribe, a company that turns ideas into books and helps people get them out there in the world.
Tucker has written four NY Times Best Sellers, including the #1 best seller I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. His books have sold over 4 million copies, been translated into over 30 languages, and are credited with creating of the literary genre “fratire.”
A movie was made about his life, also called “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.” He co-wrote the screenplay, and also produced the movie. He’s also written and sold numerous other TV shows and screenplays, and was nominated to the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential List in 2009.
Tucker got his BA from the University of Chicago in 1998, my JD from Duke Law School in 2001. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, with his wife and two children.
Today, he joins the podcast to discuss how he balances a family and a growing business, talks about his experience with MDMA therapy, and shares what house rules help him maintain healthy relationships within the family.
- Why balance is bullshit
- Making your priority YOU > your relationship > your kids.
- Why after 4 years, therapy stopped working
- The benefits of energy work
- How MDMA therapy impacted Tuckers marriage and
- Getting less triggered, less often
- Being less distracted and more attuned
- Why people suffer from unprocessed trauma
- The problem of being traumatized without an empathetic witness
- The Max Family House Rules
- Why you should NEVER deny your kids feelings
- The reason you should never say, “You’re OK” when a child falls down
- Why fussy babies go to their room
- If it’s safe, legal & reasonable — kids get to choose
- If kids can do it themselves, they do it themselves
- Why Tucker’s kids have to earn everything, except mom/dads love
- Creating family principles
TUCKER MAX FAMILY RULES
- Fussy babies go to their room.
- We don’t have to eat our dinner, but if we don’t, then no treat.
- We don’t keep unhealthy food in the house (this includes any food with lots of processed sugars, grains or seed oils).
- If it’s safe and legal and within the rules, kids get to choose it for themselves (e.g. clothes, activities, etc).
- If they can do it, kids have to do it for themselves.
- Kids only get toys on birthdays and Christmas. Granny can buy clothes, books, art supplies, educational materials, sport supplies, and experiences for the kids anytime she wants.
- When we make a mistake, we take responsibility, say we’re sorry and we do our best to clean it up.
- If we have a problem with each other, we sort it out together, or we both go to our rooms.
- We can buy anything we want with our money that we earned.
- Don’t run into the street
- No stealing (especially money)
- No backyard without an adult
- No food or pokey things on the couch
TUCKER MAX FAMILY PRINCIPLES
- We tell the truth.
- We choose the courageous path.
- We try our best.
- We treat each other with the respect that we deserve.
- We we fully commit to the jobs and activities that we choose.
- We earn our own money, we’re not given money.
- We love and accept each other and ourselves as we are, not as we expect each other or ourselves to be.
- Sharing is caring.
- Sharing is optional.
- We clean up after ourselves.
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Disclaimer: The transcription you’re about to read was produced digitally. It’s 95% accurate, however at times, the system interprets words incorrectly, so if you’re shrugging your shoulders saying, “What the heck?” — just skip that word/sentence and read on 🙂 Thanks and happy reading!