Catch Them Doing the Right Thing (A 30-Minute Weekly Ritual)
Why the ratio matters more than the moment
The idea rests on something well established. Peter Drucker argued the purpose of great leadership is to bring out strengths so that weaknesses become irrelevant. John Gottman, one of the world’s leading relationship researchers, can predict divorce with roughly ninety percent accuracy, and much of it comes down to the ratio of positive to negative interactions. The related research, often called the Losada line, put the working number around three positive comments for every one negative. The takeaway isn’t “be nicer.” It’s that the mission is to catch people doing the right thing, and to amplify the good loudly enough that it quiets what isn’t working, instead of constantly pointing out where someone is failing.The ritual, step by step
- Block roughly thirty minutes on the same day each week. Vroman does Saturdays.
- Pick one photo of your child, or your wife, doing something where you thought, that’s a strength.
- Print it.
- On the back, in your own handwriting, write what you noticed and why it mattered to you. Name the specific strength, not just “good job.”
- Keep them together in a small photo album.
What a note actually sounds like
One of his notes was written on the back of a photo of his son Ocean playing volleyball with a friend of the family at a park. He wrote that watching them play made him feel happy, that life is better when you try new things with people you love, and that he thought it was awesome Ocean kept trying every time he missed the ball. That last part is the whole point. The strength being named wasn’t talent. It was that he missed, and went again.It doesn’t have to be your own kid
Vroman tells a story about his neighbor Jackson, six years old, who came to the door to apologize for something he had broken. Instead of just accepting the apology, Vroman asked him to hold on, took his picture, wrote a note on the back complimenting him for being an honest kid, and handed it to him in front of his parents. His point: fatherhood isn’t only about your own children. It’s about being a mentor to young humans anywhere, because other men are doing the same for your kids.Steal it this week
Thirty minutes. One photo. One honest sentence about what you actually see in them. Your kids will keep it far longer than you expect.More About Front Row Dads
Connect with us @ FrontRowDad.com & Instagram.
FRD is solving a huge problem for dads. Our culture has turned “Dad” into a joke. Go ahead, google Dad and you’ll find Dad Bod, Dad Jokes, Dad Weed, etc. Culturally, it’s a Homer Simpson mentality, and it’s BS.
Our community is built for solid men. Men with range. Those who are badass, and know there’s still more to learn, together.
Most guys find it hard to find “their crew.” Finding other committed men who are successful in life and want to put family first – these guys are rare. Is this you?
In FRD, hundreds of men from all over the world show up for each other, to share resources and raise the bar of fatherhood (our core values.)
If you’re reading this, you want to grow. Podcasts are great, but guys, when you’re ready to stop just listening to content and want to JOIN the conversations, the FRD brotherhood is ready for you.
One more thing…
Has this podcast helped you? If so, please tell us how we’re doing. Please take a minute and leave a review. Seriously, they matter. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
